If you’re facing a divorce, a lot is coming at you all at once, and you may have no idea where to turn for the help you need. While your divorce will follow its own unique path, there are a range of considerations that may surprise you.
When you know what to expect in relation to divorce, the better prepared you are to protect your rights, and working closely with an experienced Round Rock divorce attorney is one of the most important steps you can take.
One: Going through a Divorce Doesn’t Mean You’re on Your Own
Divorce is a major transition, and it can leave you feeling very alone. It’s important to remember, however, that you have a strong support group behind you who want to help.
Your first instinct may be to retreat from social activities, and there is nothing wrong with taking the time you need to get your bearings. Once you’re ready to reach out, your friends, family members, and loved ones will be there waiting for you – ready to help take up some of the slack.
Those who’ve already been through a divorce of their own have a very good idea of what you’re going through, but everyone understands that the divorce process is difficult and that you’re under a lot of additional pressure as a result. Long gone are the days when a divorce branded a person as socially undesirable.
Let the people in your inner circle know what you need and how they can help, and you’re almost certain to be pleasantly surprised by how well they come through for you.
Two: There Is Not a Perfect Time to File
Many people who recognize that a divorce is on the horizon agonize over finding the perfect time to file. While filing first can afford you some administrative advantages, it’s very unlikely to be a game changer in the end. Divorce is a complex legal process, and your divorce will follow a path that is unique to your situation.
A divorce that begins amicably can quickly become contentious, and a hotly contested divorce can simmer down.
To get a divorce, however, someone needs to file. If you have reached the point that divorce is a certainty, gathering copies of the financial documentation you’re going to need to proceed before filing can save you time and frustration in the long run.
Waiting to file means that your divorce is going to take longer to finalize, so there’s no great reason for putting off the inevitable. And if your spouse gets to it before you do, that’s fine, too.
There really isn’t a perfect time to file. Your knowledgeable divorce attorney will help you make the right decisions for you from the start.
Three: One of You Is Not Necessarily at Fault
You’re getting a divorce, and you may be wracking your brain to figure out who is responsible for the breakdown of your marriage. The truth is that most divorces in Texas are based on insupportability, which means they are classified as no-fault divorces. In other words, you won’t need to identify the at-fault party or prove their fault in the matter.
This said, either spouse’s marital wrongdoing can play a role in how specific divorce terms are resolved – even in a no-fault divorce. While most Texas divorces are no fault, the state does grant divorces that are based on various forms of fault, including the following:
Cruelty
Felony conviction
Abandonment
When pursuing a fault-based divorce makes sense for you in your unique situation, such as for strategic or emotional reasons, your practiced divorce attorney will advise you to do so. In such cases, the spouse claiming that the other is at fault must offer proof, and this generally means resolving the matter in court, which not only costs more but is also more time-consuming.
Four: One of You May Need to Move Out of Your Home While Your Divorce Is Pending
It can take a considerable amount of time for a divorce to be finalized, and even in amicable divorces, the emotional toll involved can weigh heavily on your home life. Considerations to keep in mind include all the following:
Moving out is not advised if your divorce priority is remaining in your family home with your children – in the role of primary custodial parent. Texas courts carefully consider the status quo when making child custody determinations.
Staying in the home together until your divorce is finalized can benefit your children, but if the strain in your relationship is all too apparent, you’re probably not doing your kids any favors.
Moving out is unlikely a good idea if you owned the house before marriage and it is your separate property.
Living together until the divorce is finalized saves the expense of paying for another place, and if your finances are especially tight, this can be a good place to cut back – if doing so is feasible in your situation.
In the end, you’ll need to carefully consider the circumstances involved and make the right decision for you. While some divorcing couples find that they can get along well enough to continue living together until the divorce is finalized, others recognize that living separately is the only option.
Five: You’ll Need to Address Your Living Expenses While Your Divorce Is Pending
If you stay in the family home, you’ll need to keep up with the associated payments, and if you move out, you’ll need to cover the cost of a new place. If you can’t either on your own – you may need the court to issue temporary orders that address child support, health insurance, bill payment, and spousal maintenance.
Living separately is more costly, and if one of you earns significantly more than the other, the mechanics of keeping two homes running will need to be addressed. If you can’t work out fair financing between yourselves, you’ll need the court’s intervention.
Six: You Can Count on Your Divorce Taking a Significant Amount of Time to Be Finalized
Your marriage is ending, and if you’re like most people, you’d like to put the divorce behind you as quickly as you can. The fact is, however, that your financial and parental rights hang in the balance, and taking the time to get it right is key.
Negotiating terms between yourselves allows you to maintain decision-making authority, which is almost universally preferred, but reaching compromises that you’re both willing to sign off on is a time-consuming process.
Mediation Can Help
Your respective divorce attorneys will guide you through the negotiation process, but mediation is an excellent option if the process breaks down. At mediation, you and your spouse – along with your trusted divorce attorneys – will meet with a professional mediator who, in their role as a neutral third party, will help you explore your best options.
The Cooling Off Period
In Texas, every divorcing couple must wait at least 60 days between filing for divorce and having it finalized by the court, which is known as a cooling off period. This means that even if you and your spouse are able to smoothly negotiate terms and get lucky with the court’s docket, your divorce will take at least 61 days to be finalized.
Most divorces, however, require considerably more time – even when the terms are negotiated outside of court.
Seven: Child Custody Arrangements Are Tough
Once you’re divorced, your children will be spending time with each of you separately, which means they won’t be living full-time under your roof, and this can be one of the most difficult transitions of all.
Texas courts – and courts throughout the nation – stand firmly behind the belief that children’s best interests are best served when they have close relationships with both parents and as such, both parents are typically awarded generous parenting time – unless there is a compelling reason to rule otherwise.
Best Interest Factors
While one parent may become the primary custodial parent, the court has standard visitation schedules that dictate when the other parent has the children. Texas courts attempt to strike a balance that prioritizes the children’s best interests while supporting each spouse’s parental rights – as guided by factors like the following:
The children’s ages and their physical, emotional, and educational needs, including any special needs
Each parent’s ability to address the children’s needs
The amount of time each spouse has spent parenting the children to date
Each parent’s commitment to successful co-parenting with the other
Each parent’s commitment to supporting the other parent’s positive relationship with the children
Each parent’s age and overall mental and physical health
How well the children have adapted to their current home in terms of their school or daycare, their home life, and community, which is known as the status quo
Your Children’s Preference on the Matter
Another best interest factor that Texas courts consider in child custody is each child’s preference. While children aren’t the final word on the matter, the court will take the preferences of children who are mature enough to voice them into consideration.
As a parent, however, it’s important to consider the price of asking your children to make a choice of this magnitude. Your children love both of you, and asking them to weigh in on parenting time can feel a lot like asking them to choose between the two of you, which can pack an emotional punch.
If, however, your children prefer to live primarily with one of you for practical purposes, such as to be closer to school and their extracurricular activities, it changes the tenor of the issue and can help the court make a better-informed decision.
Eight: The Prove-Up Hearing Is the Last Step in the Process
Even if you and your spouse negotiate the terms of your divorce between yourselves – with the skilled legal guidance of your respective divorce lawyers – the final step in the uncontested divorce process is the prove-up hearing.
At your prove-up hearing, you’ll each testify in support of the divorce terms you’ve negotiated, and the matter will be finalized. Although your terms are unopposed, they must be supported by evidence, and the prove-up hearing completes this final requirement.
Nine: Give Your Relationship with Your Ex Time
Your relationship with your divorcing spouse is very likely to reach a low point while your divorce is pending, and that’s to be expected. It’s a stressful time with a lot of uncertainty, and it’s all based on the breakdown of your relationship. It’s difficult not to experience a range of emotions that can include a considerable amount of animosity.
How you feel now, however, does not necessarily dictate how you’ll feel in the future. If you and your spouse share children, there is a permanent connection, and this may or may not be enough to support a friendly relationship down the road.
What’s important is honoring the feelings you’re currently experiencing and reserving judgment about what your feelings are going to be years from now.
Something brought you and your spouse together to begin with and your shared children are an undeniable bond. Take the time you need to move through how you’re feeling now and see where you land. You may be surprised by how civil – or even friendly – your relationship with your ex eventually becomes.
Reach Out to an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Attorney for the Help You Need Today
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard in Round Rock, Texas, is an accomplished divorce attorney who harnesses the full force of his impressive experience and legal insight in every case he takes on, and he’s here for you, too. To learn more, please contact or call us at 254-781-4222 to schedule your free consultation today.