Knowing whether you want a divorce is as personal as knowing whether or not you want to marry. In other words, you’re going to need to do some soul-searching. The fact that you aren’t sure whether a divorce is right for you means that saving your marriage may be an option, and if that’s the case, it’s very much worth the effort.
If you’re going to proceed with something as significant as divorce, you need to be sure, and part of the process is exploring what a divorce would likely mean for you. Fortunately, an experienced Killeen divorce attorney can help you with that.
Don’t Give Up on Your Marriage Prematurely
If you’re at the stage in the process where you’re wondering if a divorce is right for you, you owe it to yourself and to your relationship to see if your marriage can be salvaged.
Consider Counseling
Marriage counseling can help immensely and can give you the perspective you need to make the right decision for you. You may discover that all you and your spouse needed was to reconnect and work on some things, which could put your relationship back on track.
Individual counseling is another option, and if your ambivalence stems from something that’s personal to you rather than to you and your spouse as a couple, it can be a good choice.
Many couples find that a combination of the two – couples counseling together and individual counseling for each spouse – offers the most clarity in challenging situations like the one you’re facing.
If Your Spouse Is Resistant
If you share your concerns about your marriage and your position that a divorce may be on the horizon with your spouse, and you get his or her attention and commitment to do what it takes to save your marriage, putting a pin in your concerns about divorce may be an excellent idea.
On the other hand, if your spouse isn't interested in your concerns and is resistant to taking any steps that could potentially right your marriage, you have an answer of a different kind. Saving a marriage when you’re the only person invested in it is generally an exercise in futility.
If You’re Not Sure Where to Go from Here
Let’s say that you and your spouse agree that your marriage needs some work, and you’re both willing to try – what comes next? To begin, it’s important to give the matter some time.
Seek counseling, really listen to your spouse, put in the necessary effort, and do the homework your marriage counselor assigns. If you see improvement as time passes, you’re headed in the right direction. If your relationship is simply stagnating or continues to decline, it may be time to explore the possibility of divorce.
Consulting with a Divorce Attorney Does Not Mean You’re Getting a Divorce
Too many people believe that once they consult with a divorce attorney, there is no turning back and that divorce is inevitable, but this is far from the case. A seasoned Killeen divorce attorney is an excellent resource for learning more about what divorce would likely mean for you.
Many people find that exploring divorce terms with a knowledgeable divorce attorney is just what they need to redouble their efforts in the marriage department – and many are successful.
Consider your first meeting with a divorce attorney an exploratory measure and see where it leads you. If you’re left feeling like your marriage is well worth saving, you have your answer. If not, it may be time to consider divorce seriously.
The Terms of Your Divorce
Only you know if divorce is right for you, and making this determination can take considerable effort. Taking the time to come to your decision organically – in the context of your marriage and the potential consequences of divorce – is always the best path forward.
However, if you’ve reached the point where you’re ready to consider how the terms of your divorce will likely be resolved, it’s important to consider each term carefully.
Your Child Custody Arrangements
If you and your spouse share children, your child custody arrangements will be of particular importance. In Texas, child custody refers to both physical custody (parenting time) and legal custody (decision-making authority).
Parenting Time
The parenting time schedule you receive in divorce will determine when the children are with you and when they’re with their other parent. It will also address scheduling concerns like pickup times, drop-off times, holidays, school breaks, vacations, and more.
If you and your divorcing spouse are able to negotiate a schedule that works for everyone and that you’re both willing to sign off on, you can hammer out just about any schedule you’d like. If you need the court’s intervention on the matter, you can expect one of its standard schedules, but there are a variety to choose from.
One parent may become the primary custodial parent with possession of the children for the majority of the overnights. He or she typically also has the authority to determine where the children make their primary home and is usually – but not always – the child support recipient.
Legal Custody
Legal custody grants the authority to make decisions on behalf of your children like the following:
The medical care they receive
The religious education they receive
The extracurriculars and travel they participate in
Options when it comes to legal custody include all the following arrangements:
You and your ex can make every decision together like you did when you were married. One of you may have the authority to break a tie when your concerted efforts to reach a mutually acceptable decision fail.
You and your ex can divide these decisions between you according to the topic at hand.
One of you can be awarded sole legal custody and make each of these decisions alone.
Decisions that are more everyday in nature are the responsibility of the parent who is with the children at the time, and emergency decisions must be addressed by the parent who is most readily available.
Best Interest Factors
Texas courts base every child custody decision on the best interests of the children involved, and the following best interest factors help guide them:
Each child’s educational, physical, and emotional needs, including any special needs
Each parent’s commitment and ability to effectively address these needs
The degree to which each parent has been involved with parenting the children to date
The relationship each parent has fostered with each child
The preferences of any children who are considered mature enough to voice them
The degree to which each parent is interested in effectively co-parenting with the other
The degree to which each parent is committed to supporting the other’s enduring relationship with the children
Each child’s age and developmental stage – with different requirements for children who are under the tender age of three
Each child’s overall mental and physical health
Each parent’s age and overall mental and physical health
Whether domestic violence, child abuse, or child neglect is a present concern
Any other factors the court considers relevant to the specific case
Child Support
Whether parents are together or not, they’re each required to contribute to supporting their children, and child support is the tool implemented when the couple is no longer married. The child support calculation in Texas is based on a straightforward methodology that is outlined by state guidelines.
There are instances when child support goes outside these boundaries. For example, the parent doing the paying may face heftier child support that doesn’t have an end date for a child who has significant special needs.
Factors that affect the child support calculation include:
Each parent’s income
Each parent’s earning capacity
Each parent’s level of education
Whether either parent put a career on hold to stay home and care for the children
Each parent’s overall health and ability to work
Generally, the parent who earns more has the child support obligation.
Division of Marital Property
The division of marital property upon divorce can have a profound effect on your financial future. Marital property refers to anything that you, your spouse, or both of you together came to own while you were married. There are very few exceptions to this marital property classification, and they include the following kinds of assets:
Any gifts given in one spouse’s name alone
Any inheritances received in one spouse’s name alone
The pain and suffering component of either spouse’s personal injury claim – that was instigated during the marriage
In Texas, these marital assets must be divided between the former spouses in a manner that is considered just and right, which means fairly if not necessarily equally. Texas courts take a range of factors like the following into consideration when determining how marital property will be divided upon divorce:
The length of the marriage
The age and overall health of each spouse
The size of the marital estate and each spouse’s separate estate
The contributions, including in the form of homemaking and childcare, each spouse contributed to the marriage
The degree to which either spouse supported the other’s career to the detriment of his or her own
Whether fault played a role in the breakdown of the marriage, which can play a role even in a no-fault divorce
Whether either spouse engaged in dissipating, spending down, or hiding marital funds in the buildup to divorce
The tax implications of the proposed property division
While marital property can be divided evenly between both spouses in a Texas divorce, it isn’t always. The court looks for a fair division that reflects the circumstances that apply.
Alimony
There is no guarantee of alimony in a Texas divorce – other than when it is addressed in a legally binding prenuptial agreement – and it tends to be the exception rather than the rule. This said, when divorce leaves one spouse without the financial ability to address reasonable needs – based on the standard of living during the marriage – and the other has the ability to help, alimony may be ordered.
In Texas, the parameters set for alimony are exacting, and when it does apply, it’s generally ordered for a duration and amount that allows the recipient to gain the education, job skills, or job training necessary to become more financially independent.
If you seek alimony in your divorce, you will need to prove your need and your divorcing spouse’s ability to pay. The factors that help determine whether alimony applies and, if so, its amount and duration include all the following:
The length of the marriage
Each spouse’s age and overall health
Each spouse’s income and available resources
Whether either spouse engaged in marital wrongdoing
Each spouse’s overall earning power
Whether or not the spouse seeking alimony sacrificed his or her own career to support the others or did so in order to care for the home and children during the marriage
The availability of suitable jobs for the spouse seeking alimony
While alimony isn’t especially common, it can play an important role in your post-divorce financials if it applies.
Reach Out to an Experienced Killeen Divorce Attorney for the Help You Need Today
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard – proudly serving Killeen, Texas – is a practiced divorce attorney who appreciates your dilemma regarding whether or not divorce is right for you.
As a divorce attorney with decades of experience, Mr. Pritchard has the compassion and the insight to help you explore your situation and proceed accordingly – whether that means attempting to save your marriage or pursuing a divorce. To learn more about what we can do for you, contact us online or call us at (254) 781-4222 to schedule your FREE consultation today.