If you’re in the difficult position of facing a Texas divorce, you may be hunkering down and simply hoping for the best. While it’s important to understand that no one blames you for being nervous and wanting to put this matter behind you as quickly as possible, there are proactive steps that you can take to help keep your case moving in the right direction.
These steps will help you protect your financial and parental rights and keep the emotional fallout of your divorce to a minimum—all of which benefit everyone involved, including your children. Turn to an experienced Killeen divorce attorney for the professional legal counsel you need.
Be Prepared
While you may think of divorce as an emotional rollercoaster—which is certainly true—divorce boils down to the dissolution of your marriage contract, which makes it a complicated legal matter.
To prevail with favorable divorce terms, you’ll need to do a significant amount of preparation. If you’re the spouse who will be doing the filing, you can do this prep work ahead of time, and if you’re facing divorce papers that your spouse served you with, the time to get busy preparing has arrived.
In Terms of Documentation
Your knowledgeable divorce attorney will help you better understand the kind of prep that’s required in your unique case and will guide your efforts. The basics when it comes to preparing for divorce include all the following tasks:
Compiling copies of all the relevant financial documentation you can access
Listing all the marital assets that you’re aware of and that you remember acquiring over the course of your marriage
Documenting those assets that belong to you alone—which include anything you owned prior to marriage and kept separate throughout your marriage, any gifts or inheritances you received in your name alone during your marriage, and any compensation you received for pain and suffering in a personal injury claim filed during your marriage
Identifying any unique costs associated with raising your children, such as if any have special needs in relation to their physical or mental health, their education, or their overall care
Another important part of preparing for divorce is familiarizing yourself with the process, which your trusted divorce attorney is well prepared to help you with. Speak with a knowledgeable Killeen divorce lawyer to better understand your options and how to prepare.
In Terms of Your Emotional Well-Being
While preparing for the legalities of your divorce is critical, it’s also important to consider your emotional well-being. This means different things to different people, but there are a few resources that can help:
Assembling a support group of trusted friends, confidants, and family members
Working with a counselor or clergy member
The journey toward finalizing your divorce can be long and complicated—as well as unpredictable—and having a support group in place ahead of time can make a big difference in how well you adapt. Don’t hesitate to contact a family law attorney in Killeen for additional guidance during this time.
Work Closely with Your Dedicated Divorce Attorney
Your focused divorce attorney will play a critical role in how smoothly your case proceeds. Sharing all the information relevant to your divorce openly and honestly with your attorney can directly affect the outcome of your case and how well you fare in terms of your parental and financial rights. In other words, you need an attorney who makes you feel comfortable.
The more your attorney knows about your situation, the better he or she can help you prepare. It’s your divorce lawyer’s job to discuss very private matters with you and to keep the information private—other than in relation to your case.
It’s very unlikely that any aspect of your divorce is something that your attorney hasn’t seen before, and even if it is, he or she should be more than capable of handling the information professionally. If the attorney you’re considering doesn’t inspire your confidence or your desire to share, it’s a good idea to keep looking.
Set a Civil Tone
Divorce is unpredictable, and while you can do everything in your power to keep your case civil, there’s no guarantee that your efforts will pay off. However, it can prove highly beneficial to set a civil tone from the start. Ultimately, your divorce terms will be compromises that you can both live with—if you settle out of court—or will be settled on your behalf if your case goes to court.
Unless there are mitigating circumstances, the universal goal is settling out of court. This means that you and your spouse will need to negotiate, and that’s difficult to do if you’re focused on revenge rather than on finding middle ground.
Keeping things as amicable as possible helps to ensure that the stage is set for meaningful negotiations, which comes with the following benefits:
Your divorce is likely to be speedier.
Your divorce is likely to be less expensive.
Your divorce will be less emotionally taxing on the entire family, including your children.
You’ll be better prepared to focus on negotiating favorable terms—rather than on ways to make things more difficult for your divorcing spouse.
You can take the following steps to help keep your divorce as civil as possible:
Endeavoring not to lash out
Putting your children’s best interests first
Focusing on your divorce priorities, rather than turning every decision into a battle
Managing the details of your pre-divorce child custody arrangements through written communication, such as by texting or by messaging through a parenting app
Consult a Killeen divorce attorney to learn more about how to foster a cooperative divorce process.
Prepare to Compromise
The point of divorce is dissolving the marital contract and protecting each spouse’s rights in the process. This means that neither spouse will walk away with terms that are completely in his or her favor.
If you and your divorcing spouse both accept that the goal is reaching a compromise that you can each live with and both recognize that you’ll each need to give in order to get, you’re in a good place.
Your compassionate divorce attorney will help you establish your divorce priorities, which refer to the issues that are most important to you. Focusing on what matters most to you affords you considerable leverage when it comes to negotiating divorce terms with your spouse.
Focus on Clear Communication
Nobody expects you and your divorcing spouse to be best friends who can’t wait to get together and gab. If, however, you’re able to keep the lines of communication between the two of you open, you can reap significant rewards that relate to your divorce terms and your relationship, which will also serve your children well.
Keep these guidelines in mind when communicating with your divorcing spouse:
Focus on the topic at hand rather than on the problems in your marriage.
Treat your divorcing spouse with the same level of respect we all deserve and skip the name-calling and heightened emotions that are likely to cause an argument.
Take a moment to carefully consider how you want to respond before you do so.
Set clear boundaries for yourself and know when to say no—you are also entitled to respect, and if your divorcing spouse is crossing the line, open communication may not be a possibility.
Make it your policy to keep things civil when the kids are around.
Even if your ability to communicate with your soon-to-be ex seems irretrievably broken, mediation affords many couples in your situation the safe space they need to hammer out compromises that work for them.
Take Special Care When It Comes to Your Children
You and your divorcing spouse are adults who will guide the outcome of your divorce and have the authority and maturity to make the decisions that are right for you along the way. Your children don’t have the same luxury.
The changes your children are experiencing can be a very challenging emotional hurdle. This situation means that, as difficult as divorce is for you, it’s even harder on your children, and doing what you can to make things easier for them is always worth the effort.
Be Honest and Thoughtful
Hiding the fact that you’re getting a divorce is not going to do anyone any good. You’ll need to tell your kids that you’re divorcing, and if you and their other parent can do it together, you’re off to a good start.
By presenting a united front, you emphasize the fact that you and your spouse will always be united in terms of your love for them, your commitment to caring for them, and your support of their best interests.
Your children need to know that nothing is going to change regarding you and their other parent’s care, love, and concern for them, and each of the following tips can help you accomplish this goal:
Instead of telling your children about your divorce one at a time, tell them when they’re all together. This makes the matter a family affair.
Find a way to explain your divorce that is age appropriate. If there’s a considerable age difference between your children, use terms that your youngest children understand while providing additional information for their older siblings.
Reinforce the fact that you and their other parent will both continue to play a primary role in their daily and ongoing lives.
Answer any questions your children have as honestly and openly as possible and encourage them to share any concerns they face moving forward.
Don’t Put Your Children in the Middle
You’ve no doubt heard it many times before, but it’s worth repeating and expounding on—you shouldn’t put your children in the middle of your divorce. Keep all the following guidelines in mind:
Don’t badmouth your children’s other parent in front of them.
Don’t badmouth your children’s other parent on social media.
Don’t send messages to your children’s other parent through them.
Don’t make your children’s other parent a taboo subject.
Don’t interfere with your children’s relationship with their other parent.
Honoring your children’s relationship with your ex is not only the right thing to do for your kids but also supports your pursuit of a generous parenting time schedule or the role of primary custodial parent.
The State of Texas is invested in the children’s best interests, which includes effective co-parenting, and following each of the above recommendations represents your commitment to be a good co-parent.
Tune into Your Children’s Needs
While there is no denying that divorce is hard on children, some are more resilient than others. In other words, you should be attuned to your children’s needs during the divorce process and beyond. While one child may need little more than some extra encouragement and attention, another may be having a much more difficult time dealing with the challenges he or she is facing.
Age, developmental stage, personality, and more can all play a role, but the most important point to keep in mind is that some of your children may need more help than others. Addressing each child’s unique needs is key to helping them all navigate the difficult path forward as smoothly as possible.
You Can Trust an Experienced Killeen Divorce Attorney to Help
Brett Pritchard at the Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard—proudly serving Killeen, Texas, for more than two decades—is a seasoned divorce attorney who is well prepared to skillfully guide you through the divorce process as smoothly as possible with your rights intact.
For more information about how we can help, please contact us online or call us at (254) 781-4222 to schedule a FREE consultation today.