If divorce is on the horizon for you, you undoubtedly have plenty of fears and concerns, and if you’re feeling more stunned than proactive, you’re certainly not alone. An important point to keep in mind is that divorce is not a race, but there are deadlines, rules, and regulations involved.
As such, it’s an excellent idea to know what not to do in the face of divorce and to secure the professional legal counsel of an experienced Round Rock divorce attorney early in the process.
Don’t Ignore What Your Spouse Is Telling You
Divorce is incredibly challenging, but being blindsided by divorce is more so. If your spouse sits you down for a conversation about reevaluating your relationship, about loving you but not being in love with you, or about anything else that smacks of a relationship-ending moment, take them at their word.
They don’t have to say the word divorce for you to get the picture. Generally, a conversation like this is used to bookmark one spouse’s intentions to pursue a divorce when it’s convenient for them, and your spouse’s convenience should not be your concern.
The better prepared you are for what’s to come, the better protected your rights will be. The fact that your spouse felt comfortable having this kind of conversation with you demonstrates a profound lack of respect, and you’re well advised to focus on building a brighter future for yourself.
Don’t Hesitate
If you know that divorce is heading your way – or if you have determined that you need a divorce – now is not the time to hesitate. The sooner you consult with a trusted Round Rock divorce lawyer and file for divorce, the better off you’ll be. If your spouse has already filed, it’s time to take action by responding, but if they haven’t, there’s no reason to leave the ball in their court.
By filing, you become the petitioner, and your spouse becomes the respondent. While there is no absolute legal advantage to filing first, it can give you the psychological edge of knowing that you took matters into your own hands, which can be empowering.
Further, you’ll likely have more ready access to the financial documentation you’ll need as your divorce proceeds, which can become more challenging as time goes on.
A final perk of filing first is that the petitioner takes the stand first if the case goes to trial. This means that you’d explain your side of things to the judge before your spouse would have the opportunity to do so. While the vast majority of divorce cases in Texas are settled out of court, it can help to know that – if your case does go to trial – you’ll be making the first impression.
Further, your skilled Round Rock divorce attorney will have the first and the last opportunity to speak during closing arguments, which could potentially make a difference in your divorce terms.
Don’t Choose a Divorce Lawyer Who Is a Bad Fit
The right divorce attorney for your neighbor, your co-worker, or your friend’s friend may or may not be a good fit for you. Qualities that every effective divorce lawyer has include experience, legal insight, and drive, but you also need someone with whom you are comfortable opening up.
Divorce is incredibly personal, and if you find it difficult to get down to the nitty-gritty with your attorney, they’re not a good fit for you. Other tell-tale signs that you should keep looking include all the following:
You don’t get the sense that the divorce lawyer you’re considering is truly listening to what you’re saying or really understands your concerns.
The divorce attorney you’re considering isn’t available to you, and you find yourself working with an array of assistants and associates.
Your pressing questions go unanswered.
You’ve got a bad feeling overall about the attorney you’re considering.
You’ll be working closely with your divorce lawyer, and the stakes are high. Make sure that you choose someone who is genuinely on your side and who has the experience and background to make a difference.
Don’t Listen to Your Loved Ones Rather than Your Lawyer
You put in the effort and found the right divorce attorney, and you owe it to yourself to take their advice and focused legal guidance seriously. Yes, your family members, friends, and loved ones mean well and have your best interests at heart, but they are not legal professionals who are representing you throughout the divorce process.
Everyone has touched the flame of a divorce struggle – whether it was their own or not – and we tend to view everything through the lens of our own experience, regardless of how removed we are from it. Ultimately, every divorce is unique to the specific circumstances involved, and every case must be handled in accordance with these specific circumstances.
If someone close to you raises a point that you consider valid, run it by your divorce lawyer. Do not, however, get bogged down by every sidenote your loved ones dream up. You’ve got a job to do – which is protecting your legal rights, effecting favorable divorce terms, and putting your case behind you – and your capable Round Rock divorce attorney is there to help you with that.
Don’t Bend Over Backwards in Response to Your Spouse’s Antics
Amicable divorces tend to be less costly and less time-consuming, and they can also tone down the emotional upset, which can make things easier for both parties and – most importantly of all – for their children.
There are many reasons why keeping your divorce as calm and reasonable as possible is worth the effort, but giving in to your divorcing spouse’s whims in order to keep the peace isn’t going to do you any favors.
The terms of your divorce will directly affect you and your children’s future, which makes them exceptionally important. Your knowledgeable divorce lawyer will ensure that you know your parental and financial rights in the context of your divorce, ensure that you know how the court would likely rule if your case went to court, and help you strategize the best path forward.
From here, it’s important to focus on maintaining clear communication with your soon-to-be ex and on engaging in fair negotiations that help move your case effectively and efficiently forward. This is the blueprint for a divorce that is not brimming with hostility, and that protects both spouses’ rights. If your divorcing spouse has something else in mind, you’ll have to find a way to deal with the reality of your case, but doing everything in your power to keep your soon-to-be ex happy isn’t your job and is almost certain not to work.
Of specific concern are requests like the following:
If your spouse asks you to move out of the house while your divorce is pending
If your spouse wants to take the kids and move out of state while your divorce is pending
If your spouse wants to make any other drastic changes while your divorce is pending
Giving in to demands like these can alter the course of your divorce and your future. A much better approach is consulting with your dedicated Round Rock divorce lawyer before you make any primary decisions that could directly affect your case.
Don’t Be Alarmed by the Divorce Paperwork
If your spouse does file the divorce, you can expect to be served with the divorce paperwork. While this initial filing will be fairly straightforward, the language and wording used can be unfamiliar, and if you panic in response, you won’t be the first person.
A common misconception that those facing petitions for divorce have is that they’re required to move out of their homes immediately and stay away from their children while the case is pending, but this is generally far from the truth.
In fact, only when there is a serious reason for doing so, such as a history of domestic violence, does the court have the authority to implement such drastic measures.
Your savvy Round Rock divorce attorney will ensure that you know exactly what’s required of you regarding your initial divorce papers. Your goal is to not panic, to read the document over carefully, to address your questions to your seasoned legal counsel, and to follow their lead. There will be plenty of time to experience the highs and lows of divorce as your case proceeds, but panicking from the outset can set you up for a very long and difficult journey.
Don’t Underestimate the Power of Temporary Orders
The term temporary has an unassuming ring to it, and too many people facing divorce don’t pay close enough attention to the temporary orders that are thrust upon them. If your spouse is seeking temporary orders while your divorce case is pending, it’s time to take notice.
The judge can set temporary orders in relation to child custody, child support, and financial support, and the impact can be immense. Further, the judge – who knows very little about you or your situation – has immense discretion in the matter.
Another important point to keep in mind about temporary orders is that they can be in place for a significant amount of time. For example, if your case takes more than a year to resolve, which isn’t unusual, those temporary orders become a lot less temporary than you may have imagined.
Additionally, Texas courts are often swayed by the status quo – or by the circumstances that are currently in place – in relation to child custody. For example, if your children are doing well in their current home, school, and community, it can play a significant role in the child custody arrangements you receive.
And if their other parent is in the primary custodial role – for what you thought was a temporary assignment – it bolsters their bid to move into the position permanently.
The bottom line is that temporary orders matter and can have a lasting impact. This is why putting effort into obtaining temporary orders that reflect your divorce priorities is a far better strategy than accepting sub-par temporary orders in the hope of turning things around with the final orders.
Don’t Forget that You’re Being Scrutinized
There is nothing like a divorce to make a person want to vent, but when it comes to divorce, it’s important to share wisely. Yes, you need to get your feelings out there, and yes, you need support, but discretion is key.
Sharing your feelings with a trusted family member or friend is completely appropriate and can do you a world of good, but posting about your divorce online can backfire spectacularly.
Most people who are going through a divorce are a hair’s breadth away from blowing up in some dramatic fashion, and your spouse knows your triggers. Too many divorce cases are derailed by well-timed recordings of the other side losing their cool – demonstrating that they may not be the best choice for primary custody or a credible witness in the process.
A couple of practices that are universally helpful to those navigating the divorce process and aren’t sure they’ll be able to maintain their composure throughout include staying off social media and sticking to written communication with the other side while the case is pending.
This ensures that you can edit what you write to your soon-to-be-ex before you hit send, that you don’t get recorded mid-tirade after being goaded by your soon-to-be ex, and that you don’t unintentionally share more than you meant to – which social media is famous for.
Reach Out to an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Lawyer Today
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a practiced Round Rock divorce lawyer who understands how challenging the process is for you and is committed to guiding you effectively and efficiently forward toward advantageous terms and a brighter future.
Learn more by contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 and scheduling a free consultation today.