While divorce comes with many challenges, it’s rarely dangerous. If, however, your spouse is an abuser, is prone to rage, or feels the need to remain in control, divorce can leave you exceptionally vulnerable to their anger, which can turn dangerous.
Having a plan, proceeding with caution, and putting your children and your own safety first are all important means of protecting yourself as you navigate the divorce process. Working closely with an experienced Round Rock divorce lawyer is another key element when it comes to your safety and effecting divorce terms that protect your financial and parental rights.
Divorcing an Abusive Spouse
Statistics support the fact that women – specifically – are never more vulnerable to domestic violence than when they’re divorcing. The risk intensifies when the women have small children. Generally, the risk of partner assault tends to increase from about two to three years prior to divorce and to peak the year of the divorce – when the legal case is likely to be pending.
Women with young children remain at elevated risk for a year beyond the divorce. In other words, if you’re divorcing an abusive spouse, the risk to you is all too real, and taking the matter seriously from the start is in your and your children’s best interests.
Know Your Rights
The State of Texas has specific laws that guide the divorce process, but there are some exceptions built in designed to protect the abused. Knowing your rights regarding divorce can leave you better prepared to protect yourself throughout the process.
The 60-Day Waiting Period
To obtain a divorce in Texas, most couples must wait at least 60 days before their cases can be finalized, and most divorces take considerably longer. If you are the victim of domestic violence, however, your compassionate divorce attorney can request that the court waive the waiting period in order to speed up the process, which can help better protect you.
If a speedy divorce is considered necessary in order to protect your safety, the court is far more likely to waive the waiting period.
The Division of Marital Property
Texas is a community property state, which means that everything that you and your spouse acquired during your marriage belongs to both of you. In the event of divorce, these assets must be divided in an equitable—or fair—manner under the circumstances, and a primary circumstance is abuse and other forms of wrongdoing.
Even in a no-fault divorce, the fact of your spouse’s abusive behavior toward you can lead to a more favorable division of property for you.
Alimony
Alimony, which is called spousal maintenance in Texas, is only ordered when the divorce causes one spouse to lack the financial means to address their own reasonable needs while the other spouse has the financial ability to provide assistance.
Domestic violence is a factor that’s taken into consideration when making alimony determinations in Texas, and the fact of your spouse’s abuse can improve your chances of being granted alimony and can increase the amount you receive.
Child Custody
The State of Texas focuses on the children’s best interests when it makes child custody determinations and abuse in the home – even when the abuser doesn’t focus directly on the children – is in direct opposition to this goal.
If your spouse is abusive, it can lead to an improved parenting time schedule for you and could support restrictions being applied to your ex’s visitation with the children, including the implementation of supervision.
While your financial and parental rights are of primary importance, they pale in comparison to your and your children’s safety, which makes proceeding with caution paramount.
Work with a Divorce Attorney You Trust
Divorces that involve domestic violence and other forms of abuse are even more legally complex, and the surest and safest path forward is with a trusted Round Rock divorce lawyer in your corner.
Your attorney will carefully assess your unique situation and will strategize a course of action that builds in protections for you and your kids while fiercely advocating for advantageous terms that support your future.
Secure a Protective Order if You Need It
If your spouse has harmed you or credibly threatened to harm you, you can seek a protective order from the court. These orders are granted in domestic violence situations, and the court takes the increased risk associated with divorce into careful consideration.
Your knowledgeable divorce attorney has the skill and legal insight to apply for legal protection on your behalf, and if granted, your spouse will be restricted from having any contact with you for a specific period of time, depending on the kind of protective order issued.
It’s important to understand that a protective order is not a cure-all and does not offer complete protection. While you should proceed with all due caution, a protective order can help bolster your safety and can provide you with additional legal protections, such as allowing you to bypass the waiting period outlined above.
Don’t Hesitate to Call 911 if You Need Immediate Help
As mentioned, abusers are never more dangerous than when they are facing divorce, and even if you’ve put every protection you can into effect, there’s no way to eliminate all risks. Too many people fail to call the police because they don’t want to make an already chaotic situation more so, but this is a shortsighted approach.
Your safety is far more important than attempting to keep the peace, which is unlikely to be successful anyway.
If you sense that you or your children are in danger, there is no need to wait until one of you has been injured. You know what your spouse is capable of and you likely know the warning signs, and you should allow this to guide you.
Keep in mind that calling 911 under these circumstances could save your life. Calling the authorities can also support your application for a protective order.
Gather All Available Evidence
In order to move forward with your divorce case and to have the protections you need in place, you’re going to need evidence, which can take many forms, including:
The testimony of eyewitnesses
The testimony of experts in the field of domestic violence
Journal entries describing the abuse you’ve suffered
Records related to any calls to the police you’ve made or visits to the ER in response to injuries you’ve suffered at your spouse’s hand
Texts, e-mails, DMs, and other forms of electronic messaging from your spouse
Recordings of your spouse, such as voicemail messages, telephone calls between the two of you, or private conversations between the two of you
Don’t Ignore Your Future
If you’re in a dangerous situation, your priority has to be your own safety and the safety of your children. Because your financial and parental rights are also on the line, it’s important to strategize a plan that better protects your future. This is a prime instance when putting your case in the capable hands of a determined divorce lawyer is always to your advantage.
While risking your safety in order to obtain better divorce terms is off the table, your divorce attorney has the experience and know-how to effectively advocate for your safety and for beneficial divorce terms that support your future.
Always Meet Your Spouse in Public
If you don’t have a protective order against your spouse in place and you need to meet, such as to exchange the children, doing so in a public place where there are a lot of people around is always a good plan. Having someone with you can also help diffuse the stress inherent to the situation and can provide another layer of safety.
By putting a strategy like this into effect, you greatly decrease the chances that your spouse will become enraged simply because they have the opportunity to do so. Most abusers are invested in presenting themselves to the public in the best light they can, and using this to your advantage can help protect you.
Don’t Vent on Social Media
If you are living in the shadow of your abuser, it can feel like you have no chance to get your feelings off your chest. While social media may seem like an open invitation to let it all hang out, it’s actually more of a trap.
The fact is that, regardless of how careful you are with your privacy settings, nothing you post is actually private, and if it gets back to your spouse or to someone close to your spouse, it can leave you in even greater danger.
Posting on social media during your divorce can negatively impact your case. Texas courts value spouses who follow the rules, strive to be cooperative co-parents, and avoid unnecessary conflict. Any harmful or antagonistic posts you share can hurt your chances of achieving favorable terms for you and your children.
Vary Your Routine
If your spouse poses an imminent threat to your safety, sticking to the same routine that you always do makes it easier for them to strike. Victims of abuse often downplay the risks they face to calm their nerves or avoid drama, but this approach is not effective when dealing with domestic violence.
As noted, you’re at greater risk when you’re going through the divorce process than at any other juncture, which makes now a terrible time to let your guard down.
Instead, building safeguards into your routine should be a priority. While routines help us ward off anxiety and tend to increase our comfort level in nearly every situation, mixing things up while your divorce is pending is advised. For example, vary the times that you leave and arrive home each day, vary the roads you travel on, and limit the amount of time you spend alone.
Finally, if your spouse seems to always know where you are, it’s probably because they do. They may have put a tracking device in your vehicle or may have installed spyware on your phone, and while these practices are illegal, so is abuse, and that hasn’t stopped your spouse to date.
Your savvy Round Rock divorce lawyer has seen it all when it comes to underhanded divorce dealings and can help you assess your situation more clearly – in pursuit of a safer path forward.
Share Your Concerns with an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Attorney Today
If you’re going through a divorce with an abuser, you face immense risks and should proceed with caution. Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is an effective Round Rock divorce lawyer with decades of impressive experience helping clients like you safely navigate the divorce process with their rights intact, and he is well prepared to help you do the same.
Learn more about what we can do for you by contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 and scheduling a free consultation today.