If your divorce is finalized and your ex gets the lion’s share of parenting time or is now the primary custodial parent, you may feel like you have to take what you can get. However, the truth is that Texas courts are willing to make child custody modifications in response to meaningful changes in circumstance, and you can be the agent of change..
If you put considerable effort into the process, you could be awarded more time with your children, which is well worth the effort and allows you to make it clear to them exactly how important they are to you. If you’re interested in pursuing more parenting time with your kids, consult with an experienced Round Rock child custody attorney today.
Child Custody Decisions are Based on the Children’s Best Interests
When Texas courts make child custody decisions, they are always based on the best interests of the involved children, which include factors like the following:
Each child’s age, developmental stage, and needs, including any special needs
Each parent’s ability and commitment to adequately address each child’s needs
Each parent’s overall physical and emotional health
How close each parent’s relationship to the children is
The level of involvement each parent has had in raising the children to date
Each parent’s commitment and ability to co-parent effectively with the other
Each parent’s commitment to supporting the other’s close and ongoing relationship with the children
Whether child neglect, child abuse, or domestic violence are relevant concerns
Each parent’s ability to be there for the children in relation to their work schedules
The distance the parents live from one another and the cost of transportation
Texas courts are looking for signs that each parent is willing to do what it takes to support one another as co-parents and to facilitate each other’s relationships with the children.
In other words, being the best parent you can be, which includes supporting your ex’s relationship with your shared children, is the surest path forward toward increasing the amount of parenting time you receive.
Negotiate a Modification with Your Ex
If you’re interested in receiving more parenting time with your children, a good place to start is by demonstrating to your ex that you are committed to doing whatever it takes to spend more time with your children and attempting to negotiate better terms directly with your ex.
If you can convince your ex – through your actions, words, and deeds – that it's in your children’s best interest to spend more time with you, it is the shortest path forward toward your goal.
If you do reach an agreement that involves increasing your parenting time, it’s important to have the matter finalized through the court. The child custody orders that you currently have are legally binding, and if your ex changes their mind in the future, you could find yourself on the wrong side of the law, which could jeopardize your chances of receiving more parenting time.
The good news is that – if you both sign off on a parenting time modification, the court is almost certain to accept the modification you’ve hammered out between yourselves.
If your ex is not on board with your request for more parenting time, however, you’ll need to petition the court. The court will only grant a modification if there’s been a substantial change in circumstances since your current orders were handed down. To demonstrate that this is true, you need the professional legal counsel of a practiced child custody attorney in your corner.
Stay Involved in Your Children’s Lives
Instead of feeling down about not being awarded enough time with your children, take advantage of all the opportunities there are to participate in their lives. This may seem obvious, but too many parents get caught up in the number of hours they’re awarded rather than making it their mission to stay involved in their children’s lives to the fullest extent possible.
The bottom line is that when you take the time and make the effort to be as involved in your children’s lives as you can, you not only benefit from spending more time with them but also send a clear message to your ex and to the court that you are committed to successful co-parenting. Getting involved in all the following ways can help:
Attending your children’s school functions and events – consider volunteering as a class parent, chaperoning an event, or assisting on a field trip
Attending your children’s extracurricular activities, including sporting events, dance concerts, art shows, and beyond – wherever your children are interested in
Attending your children’s doctor appointments and medical procedures
Attending your children’s parent-teacher conferences
Taking your children shopping for school supplies and school clothes at the start of each new school year
Helping your ex out in terms of transporting your shared kids to all the places they need and want to be can also bring you and your children closer together. And the break you afford their other parent could leave them feeling very appreciative, which can work in your favor.
Texas courts take each parent’s level of involvement in their children’s lives into careful consideration when making child custody modifications, and your efforts will not go unnoticed.
A Parenting Time Modification Doesn’t Necessarily Mean Lower Child Support Payments
If your reason for wanting to spend more time with your children is based on the immense emotional rewards you – and they – derive from it, you’re on the right track. If, however, you’re more interested in lowering your child support payments, the court is very likely to identify your motivation and is far less likely to grant you additional parenting time.
In Texas, child support is based primarily on the pay disparity between the parents – and on the children’s best interests. This means that there is no guarantee that your child support will be reduced even if your parenting time is modified to the point that you and your ex split it equally between you.
The higher earner typically has a child support obligation because it supports the children’s best interests by helping to balance the support they receive in each home.
The benefits of increasing your parenting time are difficult to overstate, but they generally don’t translate to monetary benefits. Instead, the close, enduring relationship you foster with your children is invaluable. Children’s best interests are best served when they are able to spend a significant amount of time with each parent, and Texas courts are very aware of this fact.
Don’t Weaponize Your Child Support Payments
If your children’s other parent is withholding parenting time that you’re entitled to, you may think that withholding child support payments in response is the only way you can fight back, but the court absolutely does not see it this way.
Both child support and parenting time are predicated on your children’s best interests, and if you withhold child support in response to withheld parenting time, you aren’t doing yourself any favors and are hurting your children in the process.
The child support you pay helps support your children financially, which is to their advantage, and spending time with you also benefits your kids. Using one to penalize your ex for the other only serves to hurt your children in two different ways, and the court takes a dim view of such practices.
If your ex-partner is cheating you out of parenting time, it’s a matter you should address with the court – rather than going rogue and taking things into your own hands.
Stay Involved in the Decision-making Process
If you are entitled to participate in the decision-making process regarding primary parenting decisions on behalf of your children, which is legal custody, you should take full advantage.
Texas courts generally order shared legal custody because – barring extenuating circumstances – this approach is considered in the children’s best interests. Even if your ex has tie-breaking authority, sharing your thoughts and preferences regarding matters like the following can make a difference:
Your children’s schooling
The medical care your children receive
Your children’s religious upbringing
Your children’s participation in extracurricular activities and travel
When Texas courts award shared legal custody – even when one parent can break a tie if it’s necessary to do so – they expect cooperation and an authentic attempt to reach a consensus. These decisions directly impact your children’s future, and your participation in the process is important.
Additionally, the court pays attention to these matters when determining whether a child custody modification is supported.
Being involved in your children’s lives is about more than spending time with them. Being involved in guiding their upbringing is a critical component of parenting that you shouldn’t miss out on.
Be Flexible
If your ex asks you to chip in with chauffeuring your kids when you’re not on the parenting time schedule, jump at the chance if you can. Parenting requires all hands on deck, and if your ex turns to you for help, it’s an excellent chance for you to show them that you’re fully invested in being there for your children – whether it coincides with your parenting time schedule or not.
Things come up, and if your ex needs you to hop into action to help with the kids, making it your first priority is the right thing to do for your children and for your parenting time modification case.
Parenting is all about being flexible, and the best way to prove that you’re all in is by being there when your kids need you. And if your ex asks you to switch dates as a favor to them, consider it another chance to demonstrate your unwavering commitment to spending as much time with your kids as possible.
Treat Your Ex and the Court with Respect
As mentioned, Texas courts focus on children’s best interests, and the goal is parents who demonstrate their investment in successful co-parenting. An important part of this is treating each other with the respect you both deserve. While you can’t control how your former spouse treats you, you are in total control of how you treat them, which should be respectfully.
Yes, you’re divorced, and there might be some bad blood between you – but parenting time is about your children, and it calls for restraint. Putting a significant amount of effort into treating your ex with the respect we all deserve can pay off in spades in terms of your bid for a parenting time modification, and it’s the right thing to do for everyone involved, including your children.
Treating the court with respect is another excellent idea that should be obvious but can get lost in the shuffle. The court is directly involved in your business and is making primary decisions that affect your parental rights, which is undeniably challenging.
It’s also true, however, that the court has a job to do, and they have only the information that you and your ex provide them with – along with any additional testimony – to base their decisions on. Their aim is always your children’s best interests, and your job is proving that things have changed and that you’re well suited to take on more parenting time.
Toward this end, there are two primary steps you can take to help yourself, including:
Treating the court with unfailing respect
Allowing your formidable child custody attorney to guide your case effectively and efficiently forward
Make the Call to an Experienced Round Rock Child Custody Attorney Today
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard—proudly serving Round Rock, Texas—is a resourceful child custody attorney who dedicates his impressive practice to helping clients like you maximize their parenting time. He’s at your service. Learn more about what we can do to help by contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 and scheduling a free consultation today.