If you need a divorce and you have seen too much divorce drama for your liking, you’ll be glad to know that there are things you can do to help tone things down in your own case. For a range of well-established reasons, there are a lot of emotions tied up in divorce, and while there is no way to wipe the slate clean, your divorce doesn’t have to be three-ring circus.
Hoping to turn down the heat on your divorce? Consult with an experienced Round Rock divorce attorney today.
You Are Going to Need to Walk the Walk
If your goal is a less dramatic divorce, you are going to need to walk the walk by taking the steps necessary to make that happen. You undoubtedly know how to push your divorcing spouse’s buttons, and you will need to actively avoid doing that, which can be difficult to accomplish as your case evolves.
If you and your divorcing spouse are on the same page about wanting less overall drama in your case, you can set specific ground rules like the following to help you achieve your shared goal:
Refrain from taking cheap shots at one another
Commit to putting all negotiations in writing to help ensure that you’re both clear about what you’ve agreed to and to keep you both honest moving forward
Treat one another with the same degree of respect that you treat others
Prioritize your children’s well-being, which translates to each of you cleaning up your act and doing everything you can to spare them additional pain
Commit to stepping back and collecting your thoughts before responding
Work on bridging the gaps between your positions on each divorce term rather than battling over every detail
While it may strike you as counterintuitive, you and your spouse do not have to be on friendly terms – or even on speaking terms – in order to obtain a relatively drama-free divorce.
All you need is a genuine commitment to keeping things civil, and if discussing things face to face isn’t a viable option at this point – you can communicate through electronic means, such as by text or email or through the messaging system in a parenting app.
Consider Skipping the Service Process
To begin the divorce process in Texas, one of you will need to file an original petition for divorce. The spouse who files becomes the petitioner in the process, and the other spouse becomes the respondent.
From here, the petitioner is required to officially serve the respondent with the divorce papers. If the respondent agrees to waive service, however, this step can be skipped, and you can simply share the divorce papers with one another.
While this may seem like a small gesture, it can help to take the edge off your divorce when you’re just getting started, which can make a big difference in how it proceeds.
Know the Residency Requirements in Texas
Before you can file for divorce in Texas, you’ll need to meet the state’s residency requirements, which include:
Either you or your spouse must have lived in Texas for at least the 6 months prior to filing.
Either you or your spouse must have lived in the Texas county in which you file for at least the 90 days prior to filing.
If you qualify in two different counties, you can file in the one that makes the most sense for the two of you. For example, if one county is more convenient for both of you, it can help pave the way toward a smoother divorce process.
Preparation Is Essential
When you make a business deal, make a major purchase, or navigate life’s challenges, preparation always serves you well, and the same is true when the matter at hand is divorce.
The better prepared you are for divorce, the better prepared you’ll be to handle whatever comes your way gracefully, which is the name of the game if you’ve set your sights on a low-drama divorce.
The kind of preparation involved includes all the following:
Gathering, copying, and compiling the financial documentation you need to establish your marital assets and to divide them fairly – as well as documentation regarding your separate assets, which refer to those properties you owned prior to marriage and kept separate throughout your marriage
Setting your divorce priorities, which will guide your negotiation strategies and can afford you more considerable leverage at the negotiating table
Sketching out preliminary negotiations with your divorcing spouse if possible, which will provide you with a framework for what’s to come
Documenting any factors that strengthen your divorce position, such as if you’ve been more involved in raising your children to date and your goal is taking on the role of the primary custodial parent
A Fault-Based Divorce Generally Spells High Drama
While Texas is considered a no-fault state when it comes to divorce, they also award divorces that are predicated on one spouse’s fault, such as adultery or cruelty. To obtain a fault-based divorce, however, you’ll need to prove your divorcing spouse’s wrongdoing.
Because your spouse is very unlikely to take your accusation of their wrongdoing sitting down – even if it's warranted – your case will almost certainly be contested, which means that at least some of the terms will be resolved by the court.
Most divorces in Texas are no fault and most are also uncontested, which means the spouses resolve each of the divorce terms that apply to their cases between themselves – with the trusted legal guidance of their respective divorce attorneys.
If you are shooting for a low-drama divorce, you’ll very likely be pursuing a no-fault, uncontested divorce, but it’s important to weigh your options.
Under highly specific circumstances, pursuing a fault-based divorce is worth the additional effort, but this is a decision that only you can make – with the professional legal counsel of your focused divorce attorney backing you up.
In the unlikely event that you do pursue a fault-based divorce and you’re able to prove your spouse’s wrongdoing, you can expect the court to order terms that favor you in relation to your financial rights and potentially in relation to your parental rights.
A Low-Drama Divorce Doesn’t Necessarily Mean a Speedy Divorce
If you’re going through a divorce, you very likely want to put it behind you as quickly as possible, and while toning down the drama can help, it doesn’t mean that your case will be smooth sailing. In the end, you and your divorcing spouse will need to negotiate each of the following terms that apply to your case:
Parenting time, or physical custody, and legal custody, which refers to each parent’s decision-making authority
Child support, which is based on careful state guidelines and generally involves the higher earner taking on the child support responsibility – even when parenting time is shared evenly
The division of marital property, which must be just and right – or fair – given the unique circumstances involved
Alimony – or spousal maintenance – which only applies when divorce leaves one spouse unable to cover their own reasonable needs while the other has the financial ability to provide assistance
Any one of these can take considerable time to resolve, and because it’s important to get it right, it’s generally a good idea not to rush the process.
Set Your Sights on Mediation
If you and your spouse are stalled on one or more divorce terms, mediation offers an excellent low-drama option. The benefits of mediation – when appropriate – can be difficult to overstate and include all the following:
Mediation is likely to save you both time and money relative to going to court.
Mediation is a much less formal process than court, which makes it more relaxed and can help you and your divorcing spouse keep things low-key.
Mediation is also a more private process, which goes hand in hand with low drama. Court records are a matter of public information, which makes it more difficult to keep your divorce terms away from prying eyes in a contested divorce if that’s a priority.
You can’t be forced to accept terms that are negotiated during mediation. Only if you and your soon-to-be ex successfully hammer out terms that you are both willing to sign off on will they become a legally binding part of your final divorce decree.
At mediation, you and your divorcing spouse can speak for yourselves – but you’ll have your respective divorce attorney in your corner
If your divorce involves complex issues, such as business ownership or high assets, topic-specific professionals can join you in mediation – and can guide the proceedings as they relate to their area of expertise.
Don’t Play the Blame Game
You’re getting a divorce, which is a pretty good indication that you have some serious issues with your spouse, and that’s fine. If you want to keep things down to a dull roar in your divorce, however, you’ll need to keep the blame game off the table. Even if your spouse comes after you with accusations or nasty comments, taking the high road is the only way to turn the heat down.
A better coping mechanism than turning on your divorcing spouse is seeking the support you need from trusted members of your inner circle or family, a clergy person at your place of worship, a mentor, a professional counselor, or a divorce support group.
Ultimately, everyone who goes through a divorce has things they need to deal with, and finding a healthier alternative than hurling invectives at one another is a good plan.
Take the first step toward a smooth divorce process. Reach out to a trusted Round Rock divorce attorney now.
Focus on Your Children’s Best Interests
When Texas courts make child custody determinations, they focus on the children’s best interests, and you should do the same. Children have no say in how their lives change in the course of a divorce, which can make the process as stressful as it is painful for them.
By committing to what’s best for your children, you naturally help defuse the situation. The bottom line is that the more fireworks your case generates, the harder it will be on your children. Focusing on what’s best for your children can make your goal of limiting the drama far easier to accomplish.
Recognize that There Are No Guarantees
If your goal is a low-octane divorce, it’s important to manage your expectations from the start. In matters related to divorce – as in most things – there are no guarantees, and you and your divorcing spouse’s carefully crafted plans could go south in the blink of an eye.
In fact – if the circumstances are right – you could even be the one causing the fuss. Divorce is a legally challenging matter in which your parental and financial rights are on the line, and some things are simply more important than keeping the peace.
Even if your plans do fall apart, however, you can put everything you’ve learned about keeping your divorce relatively drama-free to work for you and can help minimize the effects. With a legal matter as challenging as divorce, it’s a good idea to have a backup plan and to proceed with all due caution.
While it’s commendable to take the steps necessary to keep your divorce on the straight and narrow, it’s not worth allowing your rights to suffer in the process.
Consult with an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Attorney Today
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a savvy Round Rock divorce attorney who understands your commitment to pursuing a relatively drama-free divorce and has the legal insight, experience, and drive to help make the happen.
Our dedicated legal team is well prepared to help guide you smoothly through the divorce process – with a clear focus on your parental and financial rights. For more information about what we can do to help you, please don’t wait to contact or call us at 254-781-4222 to schedule a free consultation today.