If you are a dad who is interested in a child custody modification that affords you more parenting time or is facing a divorce and would like to be proactive in terms of the amount of time you’re awarded with your children, you’ve come to the right place.
There are important things you can do to help you obtain more favorable child custody terms, and one of the most important is retaining the professional legal guidance of an experienced Round Rock child custody attorney.
Know What Texas Courts Are Looking For
When Texas courts make child custody determinations, they always focus on the best interests of the children. And while they don’t presume that mothers are better suited to the role of primary custodial parent, mothers are more likely to fit the bill.
This is based on the fact that mothers are more likely to either give up their careers, put their careers on hold, or allow their careers to take a back seat while they focus on caring for their children – while fathers are more likely to focus on their careers, bolstered by their spouses’ contributions at home.
Ultimately, you and your divorcing spouse begin with equal footing when it comes to parenting time, but any of the following factors can give either one of you an edge regarding your child custody terms:
The level of involvement each of you has had with raising your children so far
How close your relationship is with your children and how close your ex’s relationship is with them
The degree to which each of you is committed to engaging in effective co-parenting
The degree to which each of you is committed to supporting the other’s close and ongoing relationship with your shared children
In the past, these factors were heavily weighted in the mother’s favor, and while this has changed considerably over time, mothers still tend to maintain an advantage in relation to parenting time schedules.
If you’re a father seeking a fair custody arrangement, speaking with a Round Rock child custody attorney can help you understand your rights and build a strong case for more parenting time.
Consider the Status Quo
Divorce takes an emotional toll on everyone in the family, but children are often hit hardest. They have a tendency to internalize pain, and they don’t have the maturity to effectively process the rollercoaster of emotions they’re experiencing.
Courts in the State of Texas recognize this fact, and they often address it by maintaining the children’s status quo – or the circumstances of their current day-to-day lives – to the degree possible when handing down child custody orders.
This means that if your children are living with their mother in the family home and they are doing well in terms of their homelife, their schooling, and the community they’re a part of, the court that’s ruling in your case will be hesitant to rock that boat.
This is a situation in which your children’s mother is likely to maintain the role of the primary custodial parent, but you have the opportunity to seek a generous parenting time schedule that affords you a considerable amount of time with your kids.
Demonstrate Your Commitment to Being an Effective Co-Parent
The State of Texas is invested in your children’s overall well-being, and you should be, too. An excellent means of highlighting your commitment to being the best father you can be is by demonstrating your willingness to be a team player when it comes to co-parenting.
You don’t have to be best friends with your ex, and even if the two of you aren’t on speaking terms, you can still present a united front for your children.
Many fathers feel they aren’t given the chance to be the best co-parents they can be, but this is an instance when you’ll need to take the initiative. A skilled Round Rock child custody attorney can help you take that first step and advocate for the parenting time you deserve.
Establish Open Communication
In order to be a solid co-parent, you need to establish a means of clear and open communication with your children’s other parent. If, however, you’re not at the point where you can keep things civil between the two of you when you’re face to face or on the phone, it’s not a deal breaker.
Many co-parents do just fine through electronic communication, such as texts and emails, which affords the benefit of providing a written record of the plans you’ve made. Parenting is a journey, and regardless of how carefully you plan, you should expect unwelcome surprises.
The only way to deal with these inevitable interruptions is to have a reliable means of communication at the ready. This allows you and your children’s mother to address scheduling concerns head-on, to make alternative plans on the fly, and to – in essence – make co-parenting work for you.
Some helpful hints when it comes to being a more successful communicator with your ex include the following:
Take your anger and resentment out of the equation – regardless of how challenging this may be. This is about your kids, and there are better ways to address the emotional fallout of your divorce.
Focusing on the parenting topic at hand will help ensure that the conversation doesn’t spiral out of control.
Adopt a tone that says we’re in this together – because, of course, you are. While you and your ex may not agree on much, you both want what’s best for your children, and that’s a solid foundation.
Be There for Your Kids
If you already have a parenting time schedule that you consider woefully inadequate, it’s important to remember that it’s not necessarily permanent. There are things you can do to make a difference, and one of the most important is simply being there for your children.
Above all else, this means always being there when you’re scheduled to pick up your children and always returning them on time – barring situations that are beyond your control, which you should inform your children’s mother about as soon as you recognize there’s an issue.
There’s more to it, however, than simply hitting your marks in terms of your parenting time schedule. To strengthen your case for more time with your children, connect with a Round Rock child custody attorney who can guide you through the next steps.
Another great way to show that you’re worthy of more parenting time is by helping your ex out when she needs it. When your children’s mother reaches out – due to unforeseen scheduling problems of her own – lend a helping hand if it’s at all possible to do so.
While you’re no longer a couple, you and your ex are still a parenting team. And the bottom line is that the more committed you are to teamwork, the stronger your chances will be for receiving increased parenting time.
Don’t Take an Out of Sight, Out of Mind Approach
Focusing on your children when they’re with you is easy – in fact, they may make it impossible not to. But this doesn’t mean that you should go dark when they’re with their mom. There are all kinds of opportunities to stay in touch the rest of the time, and it can go a long way toward strengthening the bonds between you.
For example, calling your kids to say goodnight each evening and asking them about their day helps establish a routine that allows you to stay close even when you’re not together. Staying connected throughout the day electronically is another way to touch base and foster bonding.
Make Your Place Your Children’s Home
While your children’s mother may provide them with their primary residence, this doesn’t mean that the home you provide them with should be an afterthought. Making your place somewhere where your children feel comfortable living – rather than just spending time – is the goal, and this requires putting some thought into the matter.
Another important concern is not making your home a mom-free zone. When your children are with you, encourage them to stay in regular touch with their mother and make space for the photos and mementos that remind them of her, which is big part of making a house a home.
Co-parenting is not a competition. The only way to improve your co-parenting skills is by embracing the critical role your children’s mother plays in their lives. It’s the right thing to do for your children, and it could help improve your chances of increasing the amount of parenting time you receive.
Consider Your Career
Often mothers receive more parenting time because they are more likely to put parenting before their careers. While this is by no means always the case, it’s still more common – for example – for the mother to call off work in response to a sick child than it is for the dad to do so. Mothers have traditionally turned down the volume of their work in order to fill the primary custodial role.
Taking a Look at Your Own Work Schedule
As a father who is pursuing additional parenting time, taking a look at your own work schedule is advised. If you work long, irregular hours in order to continue advancing your career and have to travel for work to boot, you may not be the best candidate for increased parenting time.
However, if you take the steps necessary to become more available to your children on a regular basis, the court will consider your efforts seriously.
Talking Things Over with Your Employer
Talking to your employer about adopting family-friendly policies could be a good place to start. Another idea is brainstorming with your boss regarding ways to make your schedule more predictable and less hectic.
While this may not be the best way to rocket to the top of your career, it’s a good way to show the court that you’re willing to do what it takes to be there for your children, which is what they’re looking for when it comes to modifying your parenting time schedule.
Consider Parenting Classes and Groups
You’re a father who is interested in bolstering your parenting time schedule. One way to do this is to become the best co-parent you can be, and there are resources out there that can help.
For example, if you believe that your inability to handle the stress of parenting on your own is part of the reason that you have less parenting time, look for a stress-management course for parents.
Being a part-time single parent is incredibly stressful, but help is available – and there is power in groups. There are a wide range of parenting-related classes and support groups available, and taking this kind of proactive approach can make a big difference in your bid for more parenting time.
FAQ
Consider the answers to some of the questions that child custody lawyers field most often regarding child custody concerns.
Do the courts show mothers preference when it comes to parenting time?
No, Texas courts focus solely on the children’s best interests when it comes to child custody terms. Mothers tend to fare better than fathers because they tend to already be the primary custodial parent.
What are my chances of receiving more parenting time?
If you put considerable effort into being a more effective co-parent, which includes cooperating with your ex in relation to raising your children, you’ll be well on your way to showing the court that you’ve got what it takes to handle more parenting time.
What if my ex is withholding parenting time?
If your children’s mother isn’t allowing you to have the children when the parenting time schedule says you should, she’s ignoring a court order, and it could backfire on her. The most important issue at this juncture, however, is reestablishing your time with the kids, and turning to the skilled legal counsel of a capable child custody attorney is advised.
An Experienced Round Rock Child Custody Lawyer Is Standing By to Help
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a compassionate Round Rock child custody attorney who appreciates your desire to increase your parenting time and has the legal skill and resources to help make that happen.
For more information about what we can do for you, please don’t delay contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 and scheduling a free consultation today.