If you’re facing a child custody dispute, whether in relation to divorce or outside of divorce, it can feel like an outright battle – if for no other reason than the fact that your children are involved.
If this is the difficult situation you find yourself in, your case is unique to the specific circumstances involved, but there are several practical tips that are designed to help every parent get to the other side of their child custody case with their parental rights intact and their emotional health preserved.
The most important step you can take on your journey forward is consulting with an experienced Round Rock child custody attorney as soon as you are able to do so.
One: Prioritize Your Children’s Best Interests
If you are facing a child custody case, it means that you and your children’s other parent are no longer together, and that takes a toll on children. Even if your marriage – or relationship – with your ex wasn’t perfect, you were – nevertheless – a family, and your children have lost that familiar part of their lives through no fault of their own.
As you move through your child custody case, always make your children’s health, happiness, and well-being your top priority, which will help you make the right decisions for all of you moving forward.
Keep in Mind that Texas Courts Are Guided by Your Children’s Best Interests
If you and your children’s other parent are not able to negotiate mutually acceptable child custody terms between yourselves, you will need the court to do so on your behalf, and Texas courts are always guided by the involved children’s best interests. Toward this end, they consider a wide range of factors like the following:
Your children’s physical, emotional, and educational needs, including any special needs
Your children’s ages and overall mental and physical health
Each parent’s ability to effectively address each child’s needs and to adequately address for them
Each parent’s overall mental and physical health
The relationship each parent has forged with the children
The degree to which each parent has contributed to raising the children to date
If dangerous factors such as domestic violence, child abuse, or child neglect play a role
The degree to which each parent facilitates the other’s close and ongoing relationship with the children
The degree to which each parent is invested in effective co-parenting
How well the status quo – or the children’s current living situation – is working for them
It’s important to take each of these best interest factors into consideration in relation to your own child custody case.
Effective Co-Parenting Is the Gold Standard
Texas courts begin with the presumption that it is in every child’s best interests to have a close relationship with both parents and in response, they generally award each parent a generous parenting time schedule – even if one parent takes on the role of the primary custodial parent.
The bottom line is that, by putting the effort necessary into becoming an effective co-parent, you not only improve your own chances of obtaining favorable child custody orders but also support your children’s best interests by honoring their relationship with their other parent – making it a win/win.
Greedily snagging every minute with the children that you possibly can may feel like success, but your children can pay a harsh price. Once you recognize and accept that your children really are better off with both parents playing a prominent role in their lives, you will be better prepared to successfully negotiate child custody terms that work well for everyone.
Two: Don’t Lose Sight of Your Rights as a Parent
While it’s important to commit to effective co-parenting and to recognize the critical role your ex plays in your shared children’s lives, this doesn’t mean you should accept whatever terms come your way as a means of playing nice at all costs.
The bottom line is that you are entitled to fair child custody terms that support your rights as a parent, and having a schedule that makes sense to you in relation to your life is important.
A dedicated child custody attorney has the legal insight and skill to help you see the big picture and recognize your rights within this context.
If your goal is becoming the primary custodial parent, it means having the children for the majority of their overnight stays, and you’ll need to demonstrate that this is in your children’s best interests. For example, if you gave up your career to stay home with your children and they’re currently living with you and doing very well, these factors are likely to support your goal.
If you are also invested in supporting your ex’s ample visitation rights and to putting in the effort necessary to make co-parenting work, you’ll have an even stronger case. Child custody cases are always about striking a balance, and while finding the right balance for your family can be challenging, it’s well worth the effort.
Three: Stay Involved in Your Children’s Lives
If your ex or soon-to-be ex is currently in the role of primary custodial parent, don’t take this as a sign for you to bow out and simply see your children when it’s your weekend or weeknight. In order to really be there for your children, you need to be a part of their lives at every level, which includes all the following:
Taking them to doctor’s appointments
Sharing the school pickup and drop-off schedule
Attending school functions
Being in the bleachers for school sports, plays, and activities
Attending recitals and other events that showcase your children’s interests
Attending parent-teacher conferences
Dropping everything to be there for your children when they need you
While you and your ex may not be especially friendly with one another and may prefer to seriously limit the amount of time you spend together, this shouldn’t affect your participation in your children’s lives. The bottom line is that you and children’s other parent both want what’s best for them, and you should let this be your guide as you navigate your child custody case.
Four: Provide your Children with a Stable Home
If you're going through a divorce, your life may feel like it’s in disarray, and that’s completely normal, but it’s important to provide your children with a safe, stable home life throughout the divorce process – or the child custody case – and beyond.
You’re not going for perfection here, but instead should focus on providing your children with a home that checks all the following boxes:
It’s a safe and comfortable home that allows your children to relax.
It’s reasonably clean and well cared for.
It affords your children a sense of security and feels like home.
It affords your children a space of their own and the privacy they need, including the privacy to communicate with their other parent while they’re with you.
It has a yard or is close enough to a park or outdoor space for your children to get outside and play safely.
It’s a place where your children enjoy having their friends visit.
When it comes to child custody cases, it’s a good idea to begin as you mean to proceed. In other words, the court will be looking at your current living conditions – not at what you plan on securing at a later date – because your current situation directly affects your children right now.
Five: Keep a Journal while Your Case Marches Forward
If your case makes its way to court, you may need to rebut your ex’s claims regarding how much time you spend with the children or any other point they attempt to make in support of their own improved child custody terms. This information can be difficult to conjure out of thin air, but if you keep a journal, it will be far less so. Be sure to jot down all the following:
The time that you spend with your children, including the dates and hours
The times that you stepped in for your ex when they faced a scheduling conflict that interfered with their parenting time
Any instances when your children’s other parent failed to live up to their parental responsibilities and you swooped in to get the job done
Your children’s activities, meetings, and appointments that you attended
The special activities you do with your children
The trips you and your children take together
Keeping a journal that reflects your time with your children is an excellent way to demonstrate your commitment to being there for them and to helping the court better understand your family’s unique scheduling needs.
The idea isn’t to make your children’s other parent look bad but to establish a journal that accurately reflects the role you play in your children’s lives, which can be diminished in the absence of documentation.
Six: Keep in Mind that Social Media Can Directly Affect Your Case
Social media gives us a ready outlet to share everything and anything at any time, which can be great, but can get you into trouble if you’re facing a child custody case. In the end, posts can be interpreted in many different ways, and a zinger that you dash out into the ether for your adult followers may not look so great once it finds its way to the judge in your case.
Ultimately, erring on the side of caution is advised, and when it comes to social media, this translates to taking a break until your case is at least finalized.
Seven: Follow the Court Orders that Are in Place
If your child custody dispute is related to divorce, you may have temporary orders in place while your case is pending. If this is the case, carefully following these orders is key. The court favors parents who are committed to successful co-parenting, and this includes playing by the rules.
If your ex can’t count on you to do what you’re expected to do when you’re expected to do it – in relation to your children – it’s a mission failure. And the same is true if you can’t count on them.
Even if your temporary orders don’t coincide with the child custody orders you’re going for, you should not go off script. A better policy is finding a way to let the court see how invested you are in doing whatever it takes as a parent to obtain more favorable child custody terms, and your seasoned child custody attorney can help you with that.
Eight: Obtain the Support You Need
Going through a child custody dispute is challenging on a range of different levels, and seeking the support you need can help you to continue moving forward while bolstering your emotional well-being. Prime examples include:
Sharing your feelings and concerns with a trusted friend or family member
Working with a counselor or clergy member
Joining a support group
When you take the time to tend to your own needs, you ensure that you’re better prepared to effectively address your children’s needs moving forward. If you find that one or more of your children require additional help, seeking professional guidance for them sooner rather than later can help prevent the problem from overwhelming them.
An Experienced Round Rock Child Custody Attorney Is Standing By to Help You
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is an accomplished Round Rock child custody attorney with a wealth of experience helping clients like you obtain favorable child custody terms that support their parental rights and work well for their families.
Your case is important to you and your children, so please don’t hesitate to contact or call us at 254-781-4222 to schedule a free consultation and learn more about what we can do to help you today.