Many divorcing couples turn to mediation to resolve their divorce terms and keep their cases out of court. Mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) that affords those couples who have exhausted their ability to negotiate with one another an additional option.
In the end, most couples do not need the court’s intervention but, instead, settle their divorces out of court, which often includes mediation. If you head to mediation and the process stalls, you may think that going to court is the only option left to you, but there are steps you can take to revitalize your efforts and take advantage of the mediation process.
If you are facing a divorce, the most important order of business is having a trusted Round Rock divorce attorney with a wealth of experience successfully navigating the mediation process on your side.
The Benefits of Mediation
Mediation has a lot to recommend it. One of the most important benefits is that it allows you and your spouse to make your own decisions regarding each of the following terms – rather than looking to a stranger to do so on your behalf:
Parenting time and legal custody – or your child custody arrangements
Child support
The division of your marital property
Alimony – or spousal maintenance
These represent your primary financial and parental rights, and retaining decision-making authority over them is well worth the effort.
Some of the other benefits of mediation include:
Mediation allows you to keep the details of your divorce private, while court records are public information.
Mediation tends to be less costly and time-consuming than going to court.
Mediation is generally a less adversarial process than going to court and can help relieve the pressure on everyone involved, including your children.
Mediation is a less formal process than going to court, which tends to make it considerably less stressful.
You and your divorcing spouse can speak for yourselves during mediation, which helps make the process less stifling.
The compromises you reach in mediation are only legally binding if you both sign off on them, which means no terms can be forced upon you during the mediation process.
Some people believe that mediation is fine for simple divorce cases but that it’s not as effective for complex matters, such as high-asset divorces and divorces that involve highly contentious child custody issues.
This, however, is a misperception. If you need the expertise of a specialist, such as a forensic accountant or a child psychologist, to help you resolve your divorce terms, they can join you during the mediation process.
Ultimately, if both you and your divorcing spouse are committed to hammering out your differences in mediation, you’re very likely to be successful. Mediation is all about making compromises that balance both of your rights.
While neither of you is likely to walk away from mediation with everything you wanted going in, it’s a far more predictable process than proceeding to court.
How Mediation Works
The participants in mediation include all the following:
You and your seasoned divorce attorney
Your divorcing spouse and their divorce attorney
The mediator – who serves in the role of a neutral third party and will guide the process forward
Any expert witnesses that either of you bring in
To begin, the mediator will lay the groundwork for successful mediation, which involves them going back and forth between the two of you in an effort to move the process along. It’s not the mediator’s job to advise you or to encourage you to accept or decline offers that your soon-to-be ex makes.
Instead, the mediator is there to help you find ways to expand on the compromises you’ve already reached – in order to bridge your differences and meet in the middle.
Throughout the mediation process, your dedicated Round Rock divorce attorney will be by your side, ensuring that your rights are protected and helping you make the best decisions for your unique situation.
At mediation, you won’t be pressured into accepting terms that simply don’t work for you, and you retain decision-making power, which can help make the process far less anxiety-provoking.
If you do hit a wall during mediation, it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. The good news is that there are seven important tips that can help you reenergize the mediation process and keep your case moving effectively and efficiently forward.
One: Be Proactive
One tip that anyone facing mediation should take to heart is being proactive, and this boils down to not going into mediation unprepared. The more effort you put into mediation ahead of time, the better prepared you’ll be to proceed with confidence. Part of this preparation is identifying your divorce priorities, which your knowledgeable divorce attorney will help you with.
Having this kind of focus can help ensure that every divorce detail won’t turn into a battle, which can wear you down quickly and derail your efforts. When you have well-established priorities, you bring greater leverage to the table, making you a more effective negotiator.
When you’re well prepared for whatever comes your way during mediation, you enter the proceedings with the peace of mind that comes from knowing you’ve taken the steps necessary to make the process work for you.
Two: Keep Moving Forward
If you have more than one divorce term that needs to be resolved, begin with the least problematic one and get it out of the way. By doing so, you reinforce the fact that you and your divorcing spouse are capable of successful negotiations, which can bolster your efforts moving forward.
If you come to a term that you can’t move past after putting in a considerable amount of work, move it to the end of the line and get back to it later. When you return to the issue with fresh eyes and have a success or two under your belts, you may have a new perspective that allows you both to dig a bit deeper.
One tactic that can help is discussing how the divorce term would likely be resolved if your case went to court, which could inspire you to hammer out a resolution between yourselves.
Three: Turn to the Experts for Guidance
If you are facing a highly specific concern, such as business ownership, which tends to make divorce that much more complex, you will likely bring an expert, such as a forensic accountant, to mediation with you.
Their expertise on the matter that’s caused you to reach an impasse could help neutralize the issue and help you and your divorcing spouse find that middle ground you are looking for.
Expert testimony has a way of cutting through the emotional fog that many people going through divorce experience. When you consider the cold, hard facts shared by the issue-specific professional hired for mediation, reaching an agreement can be much less difficult.
Four: Take a Breather When You Need it
There is no denying that mediating divorce terms is hard work that can take a toll on you, and if your sole focus is powering through the process, your exhaustion can catch up with you and could impede progress. There is absolutely no shame in requesting a break during mediation – in fact, everyone participating in the process is likely to be grateful for a moment of reprieve.
By taking a break, you can – in effect – clear away whatever is getting in the way of your successful negotiations, which can afford you a fresh start when you return to the process.
Five: Focus on the Progress You’ve Already Made
If you and your soon-to-be ex have reached the point that you’re no longer making progress in mediation, don’t immediately call it quits. A better approach is focusing on how far you’ve come so far. Reflecting on the progress you have already made at mediation can afford you greater respect for the power of the process, which could spark renewed effort on both of your sides.
Sometimes, taking a step back and getting a better view of the bigger picture is all that’s needed to rekindle your negotiation efforts.
Six: Be Flexible
You will go into mediation with your divorce priorities in place, but you should also be open to possibility. It’s hard to predict what will happen during mediation, and you may be afforded opportunities you didn’t expect.
By keeping an open mind, you remain present for what’s happening, which strengthens your ability to make decisions in the moment and to take advantage of opportunities that could seemingly come out of nowhere.
Within the context of protecting your rights, which is key, there is a considerable amount of room for variation in your divorce terms. By adopting an attitude that allows you to consider shades of gray, you open yourself up to greater possibilities, which can be to your advantage during mediation.
Protect your interests and make mediation work for you. For experienced legal support, contact a trusted Round Rock divorce attorney.
Seven: Backburner Your Emotions
Yes, divorce is an emotional battleground, and you’ve no doubt experienced your fair share of turmoil, but mediation is not the time to reexamine these issues. You are not required to get over the emotional fallout of your divorce at any set time, and most people don’t magically resolve their emotional concerns with the finalization of their cases.
Mediation, however, is your opportunity to negotiate terms that protect your rights and that you are willing to sign off on. It is also very likely to be your last chance to keep your case out of court, which makes it highly beneficial. In other words, when you are at mediation, it’s time to get down to business – not to revisit the emotional landscape of your divorce.
This all-business mindset isn’t intended to minimize the hardships you’ve suffered but is, instead, simply a means of making the most of mediation. Negotiating terms with your ex does not translate to forgiving them for their transgressions or for the ways they’ve hurt you. That is something that you can address if you choose to as you move into your post-divorce future.
Mediation Isn’t a Cure-All
It’s important to note that mediation isn’t always the answer. Mediation tends to be a good option when each of the following apply:
You and your divorcing spouse are committed to the process.
You and your divorcing spouse are both capable of acting reasonably and of putting your differences aside during negotiations.
Neither you nor your ex has an ax you insist on grinding during mediation.
Neither you nor your ex is more invested in hurting the other than in protecting their own parental and financial rights.
You and your soon-to-be ex don’t have to be best friends to benefit from mediation, but if your divorcing spouse is focused on getting you back rather than on resolving your divorce terms and putting the matter behind you, mediation isn’t likely to be productive. In a situation like this, your best bet is skipping mediation altogether and taking your case to court.
You can expect the judge who handles your case to know the tell-tale signs of an adversarial spouse well, and the fact of your divorcing spouse’s refusal to negotiate fairly could come back to haunt them.
Reach Out to an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Attorney for the Help You Need Today
The mediation process can be highly productive, keeps many cases out of court, and may be the right path for you. Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a knowledgeable Round Rock divorce attorney who has an impressive range of experience guiding highly complex cases successfully through mediation, and he welcomes the opportunity to do the same for you.
To learn more about what we can do to help you, please don’t put off reaching out and contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 to schedule a free consultation today.