If you're going through a divorce, there's already a lot on your plate. You need to protect both your parental and financial rights while also coping with the emotional toll that comes with such a major life change. The legal process can be challenging, and it's easy to get caught up in the small details—distracting you from what truly matters most.
Working closely with an experienced Round Rock divorce attorney from the start helps ensure that your case will move effectively and efficiently forward toward favorable terms that work for you and your children without getting mired in the issues that won’t make a difference in the long run.
Don’t Fight over the Exact Number of Hours You’ll Spend with Your Children
In the State of Texas, child custody is addressed in terms of legal custody and physical custody, and physical custody determines your parenting time schedule.
The state’s primary concern is the best interests of the involved children, and prevailing wisdom finds that this translates to fostering a close relationship with each parent by spending a significant amount of time with each – as long as there is no significant reason for ruling otherwise.
The Role of the Primary Custodial Parent
Ultimately, you and your ex can both expect to receive a considerable number of overnights with your children. One of you may, however, become the primary custodial parent who provides your kids with their primary residence.
When this is the case, it is often based on the status quo, which means the children will continue to live primarily with the parent who has shouldered the bulk of the parenting to date and with whom it makes the most sense for your children to make their primary home – while the other parent receives a generous parenting time schedule.
Protect Your Parental Rights without Turning It into a Contest
Yes, it’s important to protect your parental rights and to pursue a parenting time schedule that makes sense for your family, but worrying about the exact number of hours the children spend with you in relation to the exact number of hours they spend with their other parent is an exercise in futility.
A much better use of your energy is making the most of the time you do have together, providing your children with a comfortable and loving home, and being there for them when they need you. Parenting is all about connecting with your children – not about clocking hours. This is one battle you don’t need to win.
Don’t Battle Over Your Children’s Possessions across Households
Too many divorced parents become bogged down with the clothes and possessions the children cart with them from household to household as they move from one parent to the other according to the parenting time schedule.
Some parents become so invested in the process that they don’t want the things they’ve purchased for their children to make their way to the other parent’s home and vice-versa. If this is the direction you’re heading in, you’re making things more difficult for yourself – and for your children.
Children Crave Structure and Routine
Divorce is hard on children, but having structure and routine helps, and a big part of this is wearing the clothes they like and are comfortable wearing and having their things with them. Trying to control what your children take with them from home to home is not productive, not in your children’s best interests, and a waste of your time.
Setting up a System
It’s much more important to ensure that your children have what they need and want regardless of which parent’s home they’re staying in at the time. This can mean helping them develop an organizational system that works for them, such as keeping a list of what they need to take back and forth with them and what they have duplicates of at both homes.
Prioritize Your Children’s Needs
If your children’s other parent makes it their habit to keep everything at their place – including the things your children bring with them from your home – you may need to work something out.
Your priority, however, should be making things easier for your children, which means not keeping a tight hold on their possessions but helping them keep track of the things that are special to them for their own benefit.
Don’t Squabble over Old Household Items
With divorce comes the division of marital property, which refers to everything of value you, your spouse, or the two of you together acquired over the course of your marriage. Things of value in this context mean items that have value beyond what you might be able to get for them in a garage sale.
Recognize that Things Can Stir up Emotions
Too many divorcing couples waste time—and money—arguing over old household items that could easily be replaced and may already be past their prime. Divorce is undeniably emotional, and even everyday possessions can stir up strong feelings.
But staying focused on the bigger picture is key to protecting your financial future. Once your divorce is finalized, you're unlikely to miss those worn-out items you almost fought over.
Take a Practical Approach
If one of you will be remaining in the family home, such as in the role of the primary custodial parent, it generally makes sense to leave the bulk of the home furnishings, including kitchen supplies, with them. The time, effort, and cost of moving these things around can exceed their value and will only serve to disrupt your children’s daily lives in the process.
Know How Property Division Works in Texas
Instead of pouring any effort into fighting over an old plate, bedspread, or couch, focus on the overall division of your primary marital assets, which include all the following:
Your home
Any additional real estate holdings you own
Earnings
Checking and savings accounts
Your vehicles, including any recreational vehicles
Your investment portfolio, including stocks, bonds, and trusts
Life insurance policies
Any valuable collections
Jewelry, watches, and artwork
In Texas, marital property is divided equitably in divorce, which means it’s split between both spouses fairly given the circumstances involved. Fiercely advocating for a just division of marital property that honors your rights is well worth your effort, and a dedicated Round Rock divorce lawyer can help you with that. Fighting over old household goods is not.
Don’t Fight in Front of Your Kids
If your divorce is especially contentious, being in your spouse’s company even momentarily could mean that a battle is inevitable.
If this is your reality, you should find a way to take care of business – such as picking up the kids and dropping them off – in as neutral a way as possible and should limit communications between the two of you to electronic means that come with the added bonus of providing you with a record of the decisions you’ve reached.
Over the course of your divorce, your children will likely see you and their other parent argue; that’s simply part of life. You should, however, limit their exposure to your verbal battles. If this means not being in one another’s presence around your children, so be it. Kids pick up on the stress of divorce all too well, and they don’t need any additional theatrics from their parents.
If you and your soon-to-be ex don’t keep the hostility in check around your children, you may end up putting them in the middle—something you likely never intended. Even if your spouse goes out of their way to provoke you during shared time with the kids, taking the high road is in both your and your children’s best interests.
It’s worth the effort to maintain peace. There’s a better time, place, and method to work through your differences with your ex.
Don’t Revisit Past Grievances
You’re getting divorced for a reason. Something about your relationship has run its course, and you’re moving forward. Focusing on old arguments that you’ve already sunk way too much time into without resolving the underlying problem will only cloud the issue of what actually matters, which is negotiating fair terms that support your rights.
Even happily married couples have sensitive topics that they choose not to revisit. You’re going through a divorce, which is an excellent opportunity to let bygones be bygones. If you couldn’t solve the problem while you were together, you’re very unlikely to resolve it now, and focusing your attention on the task at hand is a much better use of your resources.
Being Overly Picky Will Only Delay the Process
If are in the middle of a divorce, you almost certainly want to put it behind you as quickly as you can. One chapter of your life has ended, and embracing what’s to come can be a welcome relief. Focusing on the work that needs to be done and keeping your cool in the process is the way to go.
If you find yourself getting overly picky about any of your divorce terms, whether that means child custody, child support, the division of marital property, or alimony, it’s time to take a step back. The goal is protecting your rights in each of these categories – not battling out every detail.
Your savvy Round Rock divorce attorney will help you focus on what matters most. When you don’t allow the less-important details to distract and confuse you, you not only save time and money but also do yourself a favor in the process.
Now Is the Time to Focus on the Future
No one expects you to bounce back from your divorce as if nothing happened. In fact, finding your way post-divorce will likely come down to trial and error.
This doesn’t alter the fact, however, that while your divorce is pending is a good time to focus on your future in practical terms. By pouring your efforts into negotiating terms that uphold your parental and financial rights, you set the stage for a better future for you and your children, which is the end goal.
Negotiations
Your knowledgeable divorce lawyer will help you better understand your rights and what you can expect your divorce terms to look like. From here, you and your divorcing spouse will engage in negotiations – under the skilled guidance of your respective divorce attorneys – in pursuit of mutually acceptable resolutions.
Mediation
If you’re unable to resolve your divorce terms in this way, you can move on to mediation, which offers additional structure and could help you move beyond whatever is standing in your way. At mediation, a professional mediator will serve as a neutral third party who helps keep negotiations between the two of you moving forward.
Mediation is only legally binding, if you both sign off on the outcome – you can’t be required to accept terms that don’t work for you.
Trial
Only if you’ve exhausted all your options as they relate to negotiations will your case proceed to court. Most Texas divorces are settled out of court, and yours is likely to also settle. If it doesn’t, however, your formidable divorce attorney will be well prepared to fiercely advocate for your rights at trial.
Make the Call to an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Lawyer Today
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a well-respected Round Rock divorce attorney who welcomes the opportunity to unleash the full force of his experience, skill, and legal insight in focused pursuit of divorce terms that support your rights.
Your case is important, so please don’t put off contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 to schedule a free consultation and learn more about what we can do to help today.