You’ve come to the difficult decision that you need a divorce, but what comes next? If you’re feeling at a loss, you should know that it’s perfectly normal and that – with some skilled legal guidance on your side – you’ll get where you need to be.
While your divorce won’t be exactly like anyone else’s, there are some basics that everyone who is going through a divorce should know, and at the top of every list is consulting with an experienced Round Rock divorce attorney early in the process.
Reach Out to a Skilled Divorce Attorney
If you’re ready to move forward with a divorce, one of the most important first steps you can take is consulting with a trusted divorce attorney.
Ideally, you and your divorcing spouse are on the same page regarding divorce, but even if you aren’t, your attorney will help you gain a better understanding of what divorce is likely to mean for you – in your unique situation – and to strategize a well-considered path forward.
Consulting with a divorce attorney is not the same thing as filing for divorce. In fact, some people gain a greater perspective from the experience and redouble their efforts to save their marriages as a result. Your divorce journey will be specific to you, but consulting with a seasoned divorce attorney early on is an excellent way to get your bearings.
Filing for Divorce
Many people believe that being the first to file for divorce gives them a strategic leg up, but this generally isn’t the case. Catching your spouse off guard by filing for divorce out of the blue can set the stage for an adversarial case, which is likely to be more time-consuming, more costly, more painful for your children, and more emotionally charged overall.
Getting the Process Started
If, on the other hand, you and your spouse have had the difficult discussions you need to have regarding divorce but are at a standstill about who should do what, it’s probably time to file. By filing first, you set the 60-day cool down period in motion, which is the mandatory waiting period from the time that you file for divorce to the time that it can be finalized.
If you are able to resolve the terms of your divorce relatively quickly, the fact that you moved forward with filing won’t slow down the process. It’s important to note, however, that most couples need significantly more than 60 days to negotiate mutually acceptable divorce terms.
Filing First
While you shouldn’t rush the process simply to file first, you should know that – in some situations – there can be benefits. Filing first allows you to choose the jurisdiction of your case, which may or may not make a difference.
In order to file for divorce in Texas, one of you must have lived in the state for at least the six months prior, and you can file in the Texas county where at least one of you lived for at least 90 days prior to filing. If you qualify in two counties, you can, as the first filer, file in the one that is more convenient – or otherwise beneficial – to you.
When you file first, you are also granted the opportunity to request temporary orders for primary matters like the following:
Your child custody arrangements
Gathering Financial Documentation
There are certain situations in which not broadcasting your intention to divorce can do you a financial favor.
If, for example, your divorce involves high assets and your spouse has far more knowledge about your family’s financials than you do, gathering financial documentation early on can help to protect your financial rights – and could save you from needing forensic accounting as your case proceeds.
In order to obtain your just and right division of marital assets, you need to know what you have, and doing some digging before filing for divorce can serve you well. Generally, the higher the assets, the more opportunities there are to hide them, which makes setting aside time before filing to do some digging a good plan.
Ultimately, however, your savvy Round Rock divorce attorney will help you make the right decisions for you in the context of your situation.
After Filing
Once one of you has filed for divorce, you’ll need to address your living arrangements moving forward. If you and your spouse can settle these matters between the two of you, you won’t need the court’s intervention. If you can’t, however, you’ll need a temporary order hearing, where matters like the following can be resolved:
Who will be living where such as if one of you will be staying in the family home while the other establishes a new address
Who will be covering which family and household expenses
How you will be dividing your time with the kids
How child support will be addressed
Who will be using which vehicle
How spousal maintenance will be addressed
Something you should know about temporary orders is that, while they are temporary, they also establish a status quo.
When Texas courts make divorce determinations that affect children, the children’s best interests are the primary concern, and one best interest factor that is taken into careful consideration is how well the status quo – or the children’s current living situation – serves them in terms of their home, school, and community.
In other words – when it comes to divorce – it’s a good idea to begin as you mean to go on. For example, if you want to be the primary custodial parent who lives in the family home with your children, seeking temporary orders that reflect this is well advised.
Standing Orders
As you move forward with divorce, it’s important to know that most Texas counties have standing orders in place that prohibit either spouse from engaging in any of the following – if they haven’t come to a mutual agreement on the matter in question – in the buildup to their divorce:
Closing out financial accounts
Taking the children out of state
Altering life insurance policies
Cutting up credit cards
Enrolling the children in different schools or daycares
Fault Based Divorce Is Rare
While the State of Texas does award fault-based divorces, they are not common.
The grounds for fault-based divorce include primary issues such as adultery and cruelty. If you seek a fault-based divorce, you can expect your case to be more expensive and to take longer to finalize. You’ll also need to prove the matter of your spouse’s wrongdoing, which adds an additional layer of challenge.
All of this said, however, there are unique situations in which seeking a fault-based divorce is advised. To begin, the court can take your spouse’s fault into account when it comes to important divorce terms, including the division of marital property, spousal maintenance, and – in specific situations – child custody. Examples include:
If your spouse is having an affair with someone with whom it isn’t in your children’s best interest
If your spouse’s cruelty adversely affects your children
Finally, we shouldn’t overlook the fact that fault-based divorce affords some people a sense of emotional solace.
For example, if highlighting the fact of your spouse’s wrongdoing and the suffering you had to endure as a result gives you a kind of peace that you couldn’t otherwise achieve, it might be worth the additional effort. In the end, only you know what’s right for you, and your knowledgeable Round Rock divorce attorney will help you carefully explore your best options.
Settling Out of Court
The process to protect both your financial and parental rights in Texas generally takes some time, but the vast majority of divorces in the state are settled out of court. This is a more streamlined process that allows you and your spouse to maintain decision-making authority over primary matters. Most people facing divorce prefer not to hand the reins over to strangers in judicial robes, which makes putting considerable effort into effective negotiations paramount.
If negotiations between the two of you break down, your respective divorce attorneys will endeavor on your behalf, and mediation is also an option. At mediation, a professional mediator, acting in the role of a neutral third party, will facilitate a back-and-forth between the two of you – along with your respective divorce attorneys – in an effort to promote productive compromise.
Sometimes, Heading to Court Is the Best Option
Most of the time, negotiating divorce terms out of court is the preferred option by a long shot, but there are situations in which this isn’t the case. For example, if you’re seeking a fault-based divorce, you’ll need to prove that your spouse engaged in a specific kind of wrongdoing, and this means your case is going to court.
Another prime example, however, is when one spouse is more interested in making the divorce hard on the other than they are in engaging in reasonable negotiations. If things have reached this point for you, it’s likely time to cut your losses and schedule a court date.
Your Children’s Best Interests
Child custody arrangements are a primary concern in divorces that involve children, and better understanding the position that Texas courts take can afford you a better understanding of what to expect.
Texas is concerned with your children’s best interests, and – unless there is a reason for ruling otherwise – this means that each of you will receive a considerable amount of parenting time.
The best interest factors that courts turn to when making parenting time decisions include all the following:
Your children’s needs, including any special needs
Each parent’s willingness and ability to address the children’s needs
Each child’s age and developmental stage
Each child’s overall physical and mental health
Each parent’s age and overall mental and physical health
The level of closeness between each parent and the children
The degree to which each parent has been involved in raising the children to date
Each parent’s commitment to supporting the other’s ongoing relationship with the children
Each parent’s commitment to effective co-parenting for the sake of the children
Texas courts want to see parents who are willing to put their differences aside for the sake of their children, which is also what’s best for your children – making it a worthy goal.
If you and your soon-to-be ex aren’t capable of communicating with one another face-to-face or over the phone, texting or messaging through a parenting app is a decent substitute.
The bottom line is that parenting is a balancing act that requires cooperation and the coordination of schedules, and simply refusing to communicate with one another not only makes things more difficult for your children but also sends the wrong message to the court.
Keeping Things Civil between the Two of You
As mentioned, every divorce takes its own path, and unpredictability is a defining characteristic. Springing a divorce on your spouse increases the chances that your case will be contentious, and it’s unlikely to do anyone any favors. A better approach tends to involve taking the following well-considered steps:
Taking the time you need to determine that divorce is the right course of action for you
Gathering financial documentation ahead of time which can save time and frustration in the long run
Honestly discussing your intention to file for divorce with your ex which can help pave the way toward a less rocky process
Working closely with a focused divorce attorney from the start
By taking a measured approach, you not only dial divorce drama back but also help take some of the emotional pressure off your children.
An Experienced Round Rock Divorce Attorney Can Help
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a formidable Round Rock divorce attorney who recognizes how difficult your situation is and has the compassion and legal insight to help. For more information about what we can do for you, please don’t delay scheduling a free consultation by contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 today.