Updated on August 24, 2022
Divorce is one of the most difficult transitions you can face, and regardless of how amicable, fair, and straightforward you and your divorcing spouse are, you are going to pay an emotional price. However, if your spouse chooses to play dirty, it is certain to make the experience that much more difficult, and it puts your financial and parental rights in considerable jeopardy.
If you are facing a divorce and you are concerned that your soon-to-be-ex is up to no good, it is time to reach out to an experienced Killeen divorce attorney.
Keeping Your Divorce out of Court
No two divorces are mirror images of one another. Your divorce will follow its own unique path—with its own twists and turns—but the one universal rule that applies to all divorces is that they address the same basic divorce terms:
The division of marital property, which should be fair according to the circumstances
Child custody arrangements, if you have children
Child support, if you have children
Spousal maintenance, which is better known as alimony
None of these is easy to negotiate, but if your divorcing spouse is engaging in virtual warfare, you can expect the process to be near impossible.
If your soon-to-be-ex is invested in making your divorce as painfully complicated as possible, there is a good chance that settling your divorce outside of court may not be an option. Further, if your spouse is engaging in particularly egregious divorce practices, going to court is very likely the only way to adequately protect your rights.
Your knowledgeable Killeen divorce attorney will help you explore your best options and will help you make the necessary determinations when the time comes. Contact an attorney today to get answers to your divorce questions.
Using Service of Divorce Papers as a Weapon
Unless one spouse waives service, one of you will need to serve the other with divorce papers, but the process is generally low-key and straightforward. If your divorcing spouse, however, wants to use service as a weapon, he or she can certainly do that—and it is likely to start your divorce off with a bang.
For example, if your spouse springs a divorce on you out of nowhere, it can be extremely painful and can make getting your bearings and moving through the divorce process with purpose even more difficult. If your divorcing spouse decides to take matters to the next level, he or she may serve divorce papers when it is least opportune.
Consider the following utterly inappropriate (and humiliating) scenarios:
Being served with divorce papers when you are in the middle of an important work conference
Being served with divorce papers when you are celebrating with family and friends
Being served with divorce papers when you are involved in a school activity with your children
Using the service of divorce papers to hammer away at one’s spouse is a dirty move that sets the tone for a very complicated divorce ahead.
Emptying the House
Another bold move that some spouses use to sabotage their unsuspecting partners is clearing out the house while the other is out of town. Coming home to an empty house is about as bleak as it gets, and it demonstrates the level of effort your spouse is willing to put into making your divorce a knock-down, drag-out affair.
Your spouse is sending a clear message that he or she is going to take everything he or she can get, and you should take the message seriously. For help working through a high-conflict divorce such as this, reach out to an experienced Killeen divorce attorney that will help you protect your rights.
Canceling Your Credit Cards
Imagine picking up the tab on your dear friend’s birthday lunch—only to have the credit card that you have been using steadily for the last decade be declined.
Your spouse does not have to put much effort into canceling a credit card under both of your names, but this action can make a big splash and leave you with a desperate sense of concern about how you are going to keep your finances afloat while your divorce is pending.
There are standing orders for Texas divorces that warn spouses against stooping to levels such as this, but it can take a considerable amount of time to get the matter in front of a judge, and this kind of low blow can take a significant toll on you.
Removing Funds from Your Bank Account
Another way to create financial mayhem is clearing out your joint bank accounts. Learning that your checking account is empty can send you into a financial tailspin—especially if your credit card has been canceled and you do not have an income of your own. If your spouse is the primary earner in your household, his or her financial antics can be even more damaging.
Further, if your spouse is no longer living at home and simply stops covering your household bills, it can leave you at an utter loss regarding how you are going to keep up with the bills and support your children in the meantime. At a time like this, it is natural to panic.
The best move you can make if you are facing a bleak financial landscape while your divorce goes forward is consulting with your focused Killeen divorce attorney about obtaining temporary orders that address your financial situation.
Shutting You Out Entirely
One of the simplest and most cruel tactics your spouse can engage in is cutting you out entirely. If he or she makes the decision not to speak to you and not to communicate with you electronically, there is little that you can do about it.
This situation can be problematic because you are going through a divorce and there are a lot of details to work out, including the following urgent decisions:
Addressing financial concerns while your divorce is pending, including determining who will be taking care of which bills
Determining how you will divide your parenting time with your children
Determining how you will transport your children where they need to be when they need to be there, including dropping them off with your spouse
Determining how you will make all the important parenting decisions that arise on a regular basis
This list could go on without end, but if your spouse unceremoniously cuts you out, you will have no recourse other than winging it and communicating via your attorneys, which is almost certain to make your divorce not only more time consuming but also more costly.
Another point to make about this kind of childish behavior is that it can become a slippery slope toward putting your children in the middle. Making a conscious effort not to engage in this practice, which can be particularly painful—and even harmful—to your children, is the best course of action.
Finally, continuing to communicate what you need to communicate to your spouse through texts and emails provides you with a record of your efforts (for when your divorce does go to court and you need the judge to understand the lengths to which your spouse went to turn your divorce into a battlefield).
While the vast majority of divorces are not fault-based in the State of Texas, judges do not take kindly to antics that further clog the courts and serve no purpose other than sheer churlishness.
Leaving with the Kids
Your spouse recognizes that the surest way to hurt you is by giving you a fright about your children, and taking the kids out of state without permission is a great way to accomplish this.
Again, the court does not approve of this devious practice. In fact, your spouse’s stunt could worsen his or her chances of obtaining the parenting time he or she is hoping for and could affect his or her parental responsibilities (the right to make parenting decisions on behalf of your children) due to the profound lack of common sense demonstrated by his or her actions.
This, however, does not do you any good at the moment. If you believe that your spouse is simply putting on a show to hurt you, discuss the matter with your compassionate Killeen divorce attorney, but if you think there is more to it than that, it is time to call the authorities.
Hitting Social Media Hard
Your divorcing spouse may turn to the age-old practice of spreading nasty rumors about you. This can be achieved by paying visits to key players in your life and with a few well-placed phone calls, but the current favorite tends to be spreading misinformation on social media. (“How Can Social Media Affect My Divorce?”)
As hard as it is for you to ignore such tactics, taking the high road is almost certain to be in your best interest. To begin, anything you say or post is destined to play into your spouse’s hands, and stooping to address gossip can give it wings.
The best practice is to trust your friends, family members, loved ones, and employer (if your spouse goes this far) to rise above your divorcing spouse’s antics and not to dignify his or her behavior with a reaction. It may not be easy, but you owe it to yourself to rise above your spouse’s antics.
If your divorcing spouse takes his or her accusations to the extreme, he or she may file false abuse charges against you, which pushes things completely off the edge and is a matter for your skilled Killeen divorce attorney. The court is adept at seeing through these vengeful practices, but that does not make the journey forward any easier for you.
Engaging in Financial Hijinks
Finally, your spouse may go directly to financial shenanigans without giving you any reason to believe that he or she is engaging in funny business. That’s right, your divorcing spouse may put on a kind face and seem to aim for a smooth divorce, but if he or she is hiding assets, it can lead to financial devastation. And you may not recognize that there is an issue until it is too late.
Being on top of your finances when it comes to divorce is paramount, and relying on your divorcing spouse’s records on the matter is not the standard of excellence you are going for. The following situations lend themselves very nicely to financial sleights of hand:
If your spouse takes care of the finances in your family or is far more involved than you are
If your divorce finances are complicated by business ownership or by high assets
If your separate and marital assets are hopelessly intertwined
There are plenty of ways to hide assets in a divorce, and any of the following methods will suffice:
By spending it down (for example, by wining and dining a new love interest or by simply spending lavishly)
By giving it away (often with a wink and a nod that ensures that he or she will be getting it back)
By playing fast and loose with business or financial records
If you are concerned that your marital assets are not accurately represented in your divorce, discuss the matter with your Killeen divorce attorney as soon as possible.
Understanding Your Spouse’s Game Plan
If your spouse is continually throwing financial and emotional grenades your way, you are likely in reaction mode and may not be thinking about anything other than getting through this incredibly difficult experience. However, your spouse probably isn’t acting randomly. He or she likely has a reason for acting so cruelly.
Ultimately, your spouse is likely hoping that you will simply give up and accept whatever lowball divorce settlement offer that he or she makes—and you may be tempted to do just that. It is important to remember, however, that your divorce terms will guide your financial future, and turning a blind eye on your financial rights at this juncture is ill-advised.
Your divorce attorney has the experience and know-how necessary to help you stay the course until you obtain fair divorce terms that uphold your rights. Contact a Killeen divorce attorney today to discuss your divorce case.
An Experienced Killeen Divorce Attorney Can Help
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard in Killeen, Texas, is a trusted divorce attorney who takes immense pride in helping clients such as yourself prevail with fair divorce terms that uphold their financial and parental rights. For more information, please do not wait to contact us online or call us at (254) 781-4222 today.