If you’re moving toward divorce and are preparing to file, there are several steps you can take now that can make the process go more smoothly and that can help you better protect your financial and parental rights. Divorce is a complex legal matter, and it’s also unpredictable.
For example, a relatively friendly divorce can become heated in the blink of an eye, and a divorce that seems to be wrapping up can drag on and on. The more forethought you put into your divorce, the fewer surprises you’re likely to face – and the better prepared you’ll be to handle any that do arise.
One of the most important preparations you can make when facing a divorce is consulting with an experienced Round Rock divorce attorney early on.
Discuss the Matter with a Trusted Divorce Attorney
While you may think that consulting with a divorce attorney before discussing the matter with your spouse is a betrayal, that isn’t the case.
If you’re on the fence about whether or not divorce is the answer for you, meeting with a divorce attorney can provide you with a better understanding of what divorce is likely to mean for you, which leaves you better prepared to make a decision of this magnitude.
If you have already decided to divorce, meeting with an attorney helps ensure that you know what prep work you need to do before opening the emotional floodgates that a divorce conversation with your spouse could open.
Once you do file for divorce, you can expect emotions – on both sides – to heat up, and it can make tending to the business at hand, such as gathering documentation, that much more difficult. The better prepared you are for the divorce ahead, the better your chances of keeping things moving smoothly forward with as few skirmishes as possible.
Make Sure You Meet the Requirements to File for Divorce in Texas
To file for divorce in Texas, there are specific requirements you must meet, including:
One of you must have lived in the state for at least the six months prior to filing.
You must file in a Texas county that you or your spouse has lived in for at least the 90 days prior. If you and your divorcing spouse qualify in different counties, you can file in the county of your choice.
Finally, it’s important to note that Texas has a waiting period before your divorce can be finalized. Every couple must wait at least 60 days post-filing, which is called a cooling off period, before their divorce will be granted by the court.
In reality, however, most couples require considerably more time to negotiate the terms of their divorce, and the court’s docket also needs to be taken into consideration. While it’s remotely possible to be divorced in as few as 61 days in Texas, it isn’t likely.
Take Your Emotions into Account
Even if you’re the spouse seeking divorce, you should expect it to take an emotional toll on you. To begin, divorce is hard on children – who don’t have the emotional maturity to understand why their lives are changing so dramatically. Your children’s pain can be far more difficult to bear than your own, which makes divorce even more emotionally challenging.
Taking your emotions into consideration ahead of time isn’t going to mitigate them, but it can leave you better prepared to deal with them effectively. Having a strong support system in place can help immensely, and if you find that you need more focused guidance as your divorce proceeds, you’ll be prepared to take action.
This process can also give you the tools you need to identify your children’s needs and address them as they arise. Common signs that divorce is weighing too heavily on a child’s emotions include all the following:
They exhibit frequent anger.
They withdraw socially – or their own relationships show signs of strain.
They seem more quiet than usual or become reserved.
Their grades start to slip.
They regress in terms of their development – for younger children.
Their sleeping and eating patterns change.
They exhibit signs of depression.
They have more severe separation anxiety.
They engage in risky behaviors.
Keeping your eye on your own and your children’s emotional well-being throughout the divorce process is the surest means of nipping any problems in the bud and getting everyone the help they need.
A final point to be made here is that carving out some adult time with friends while your divorce proceeds is important. The stress and emotional turmoil of your divorce may inspire you to keep your head down and to soldier on until the matter is finalized.
In the end, however, you’re better off taking care of your emotional health and happiness along the way – rather than attempting to patch things back together after the fact. Spending some time with friends in the middle of divorce chaos can do you a world of good.
Gather the Documentation You Need
Much of your divorce will hinge on numbers. The division of your marital property, child support, and alimony – if applicable – will be determined in accordance with your family’s finances, which will be established through documentation.
Once your divorce heats up, it can be more difficult to obtain the financial and administrative documents you need, which can be exceptionally frustrating and can slow down the process.
Making copies and carefully compiling all the following now can make a big difference later on:
Birth certificates – in relation to child custody and child support
Any prenuptial or postnuptial agreement you have in place
Your marriage license
You, your spouse, and your children’s social security numbers
You and your spouse’s income statements
Your taxes for the last several years
Statements for retirement and pension accounts
Life insurance policies
Copies of everything in your financial portfolio
Your mortgage and property tax statements
Car titles and any car loans
Documentation regarding any additional real estate you own
The financials related to any business ownership, including the business’s tax returns
Documentation related to any joint holdings
Debt statements, such as those related to credit cards and loans
The higher your assets and the more complex they are, the more challenging your divorce is likely to be – and the more documentation you’ll need to gather.
Further, the more documentation you have access to early on, the more difficult it will be for your divorcing spouse to walk away with more assets than they’re entitled to. While you may not think they would stoop this low, you shouldn’t underestimate just how stressful divorce can be and just how poorly some people react to that stress.
Consider Your Grounds for Divorce
Before you head into divorce, it’s important to consider the grounds behind your filing.
The majority of divorces in Texas are no fault divorces. This doesn’t mean that your spouse didn’t do anything to cause the divorce, but that you’re not basing your divorce on their wrongdoing. A no fault divorce in Texas is based on insupportability, which many people think of as irreconcilable differences.
With a no fault divorce, you’ll have every opportunity to keep the matter out of court, which most couples consider extremely beneficial. Only if you exhaust all your other options regarding negotiations, including mediation, will you need the court’s intervention.
If you seek a fault-based divorce on the other hand, it means you’re accusing your spouse of causing your divorce – generally as a result of either adultery or cruelty, but there are additional grounds available.
The burden of proof will lie with you, and – unless your spouse agrees with your assessment of their wrongdoing, which is highly unlikely – the matter will need to be resolved in court. Your divorce terms can be directly affected by the fact of your spouse’s wrongdoing, but – in some circumstances – your spouse’s fault can affect specific terms even in a no fault divorce.
Most filers choose the no fault route in order to expedite the process and keep the matter out of court. There are unique instances, however, when pursuing a fault-based divorce can be worth the additional effort, and your trusted Round Rock attorney will help you carefully make the right choices for you – at this juncture and throughout the divorce process.
Familiarize Yourself with the Terms of Divorce
While no two divorces are identical to one another, all divorcing couples must address the same divorce terms – as applicable – including:
Division of Marital Property – In Texas, the assets that you and your spouse acquire during your marriage are considered marital, and in the event of divorce, they must be divided between you fairly under the given circumstances.
Child Custody Arrangements – Child custody must address both parenting time and parental decision-making. Either can be shared or joint, but each of you can expect to receive a generous parenting time schedule – barring a serious concern that interferes with this arrangement.
Child Support – Child support is based on state calculation guidelines that are only deviated from when unique circumstances are involved. The higher earner among you can expect to have the child support obligation.
Alimony – If your divorce leaves either of you unable to adequately support yourself and the other has the means to help, alimony may be awarded.
Consider Mediation
If you and your divorcing spouse – with the guidance of your respective divorce attorneys – are able to negotiate divorce terms between yourselves, it’s the way to go. But if your negotiations stall, it doesn’t mean that you’ll need to head directly to court. At this stage, mediation can be a great option.
At mediation, you and your seasoned divorce attorney and your spouse and theirs will meet with a professional mediator whose job it is to help move your negotiations forward. The mediator serves as a neutral third party who will go back and forth between each of you – sharing the compromises you’re willing to make until you’re able to, ideally, find common ground.
Some of the many benefits of mediation include the following:
It generally saves time and money and can help tone down emotional upset.
It is a private matter, while court records are a matter of public information.
It is far less formal than going to court, which can help everyone feel more relaxed and can facilitate more productive negotiations.
It is only legally binding if you and your divorcing spouse both sign off on the terms you negotiate. In other words, you can’t be forced to accept terms that don’t work for you.
With mediation, you retain the right to make primary decisions that will directly affect your future, which most people find preferable to allowing a stranger to do so for them.
Your attorney will be right by your side throughout the mediation process, so you can rest easy in the knowledge that your rights are well protected.
Resolving your divorce through mediation can help set the stage for less hostility moving forward.
It’s important to point out here that, if your spouse is invested in making your divorce as high conflict as they possibly can, mediation is not likely to help. In fact, it could be just another costly and time-consuming step in the long journey toward court. Here too, your attorney will help you strategize the best path forward, which may mean heading directly to court.
Seek the Guidance of an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Attorney Today
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a practiced Round Rock divorce attorney with the legal skill, insight, and drive to help you obtain favorable terms that work for you and your children. To learn more, please don’t hesitate to contact or call us at 254-781-4222 and schedule your free consultation today.