We’ve all heard the divorce horror stories out there. If you’re facing a divorce, however, it’s important to know that, while divorce is a complex legal matter that comes with many emotional challenges, you are not destined to be ensnared in every divorce trap you’ve ever heard about, read about, seen in a movie, or witnessed with your own eyes.
One of the most important steps you can take to ensure that this doesn’t happen to you is consulting with an experienced Round Rock divorce attorney early in the process. It’s also important to note that not everything you’ve heard about divorce is strictly true.
Every divorce case follows its own unique path, and yours will do the same. Fortunately, there are also things that you can do to help you avoid the snafus that derail too many cases.
Not Every Divorce Is Based on One Spouse’s Fault
The fact is that, in Texas, the vast majority of divorces are no fault. This means that neither spouse is blaming the other for causing the divorce, and as a result, they also bypass the need to prove that the other’s wrongdoing caused the marriage to fail. In other words, your divorce is unlikely to impeach you or your spouse’s actions and needn’t play out like a tabloid headline.
Further, most divorces are resolved out of court, which means the specifics of your case won’t be available for public consumption. Your divorce is unlikely to be an open book, and there is unlikely to be an assessment of who is at fault in the matter.
The reasons couples divorce are as varied as the individuals themselves, and it rarely boils down to something as simple as one spouse being completely to blame while the other is completely blindsided—although this can happen.
Divorce reflects each couple’s inability to make their union work, which can be difficult to admit but is not exactly uncommon. If you’ve put in the hard work and come to the undeniable conclusion that you need a divorce, you should let that be your guide and should leave other people’s assumptions and beliefs to them.
An Uncontested Divorce Doesn’t Mean that Your Rights Will Take a Back Seat
An uncontested divorce is one in which the terms are resolved out of court, which means that you and your spouse – with the skilled legal guidance of your respective divorce attorneys – will negotiate mutually acceptable resolutions for each of the following that apply:
The division of your marital property
Child custody arrangements, including parenting time
Child support
Alimony
If—after exhausting all your options—you can’t find a middle ground about one or more of these terms, your case will need the court’s intervention, which makes it a contested divorce.
The gold standard when it comes to divorce is generally the uncontested route. This allows you and your spouse to retain the authority to make primary decisions that will directly affect your future and comes with all the following benefits:
It’s less time-consuming.
It’s less costly.
It can be less emotionally challenging, which benefits not only you and your divorcing spouse but also your children.
When you have a trusted divorce attorney in your corner from the start, you can also count on the terms you negotiate with your ex to protect your parental and financial rights, which is key.
Compromise Is King
If you’re going through a divorce, it’s important to accept that you will need to make compromises. This means that neither you nor your spouse will walk away with terms that perfectly align with your wishes.
By working closely with a seasoned divorce attorney throughout the process, however, you can proceed with the confidence that comes from knowing your divorce priorities are well established, which can afford you considerably more leverage during negotiations.
If you allow every detail of every divorce term to become a battle, you’re looking at a very long divorce that can leave you far more emotionally depleted – and your terms are unlikely to support your rights any better.
If you have a plan and you stick to it, you can expect your negotiations to proceed as smoothly as possible. Additionally, you can look forward to terms that support your rights and coincide with your priorities.
Mediation Isn’t Always the Answer
Mediation is an excellent tool for keeping many divorces out of court, which is nearly always the goal—but there are exceptions to this rule.
If your case goes to mediation, you and your divorce attorney will come together with your divorcing spouse and their divorce attorney at a meeting that will be guided by a professional mediator who serves in the role of a neutral third party. The mediator will go back and forth between the two of you – helping you build on the compromises you’re each willing to make.
This is an excellent option when both parties are willing to compromise. Most divorcing couples are willing to dig a bit deeper when it means keeping their cases out of court – and retaining the right to make primary decisions for themselves.
Very few people relish the idea of allowing a stranger to make decisions about their parental and financial rights, which makes the idea of mediation that much more inviting.
If, however, your soon-to-be ex is more interested in making your life miserable than they are in protecting their own rights, mediation is likely to be just another costly and time-consuming step on the path toward court.
If your spouse gives you every indication that they are not interested in budging an inch on any issue, it’s a fairly reliable indicator that mediation is unlikely to do you any good.
Your trusted Round Rock divorce attorney will help you make the right choices for you.
Getting a Divorce Doesn’t Mean that You’re Facing a Lonely Future
If you’re gearing up to file for divorce, you may think it means you’re destined for a lonely life moving forward, but this is far from the reality of the situation. Even the calmest divorces in which both spouses behave cordially and responsibly come with their own brand of emotional upheaval, which is to be expected in relation to a transition of this magnitude.
However, once you’ve come to terms with your emotions and found a way to move beyond them, nothing can stop you from living your best life, which can include as many friendships as you can handle and another romantic relationship if that’s what you’re looking for.
Assessing What You’re Looking For
While some people who divorce are not interested in establishing a serious romantic relationship right out of the gate, some are ready to take the plunge again as soon as they meet the right person. Still, others want to enjoy life and see where it takes them – whether that means being part of a couple or not.
While you may have sworn off committed relationships with your divorce – or may have decided that you’re committed to finding the right person for you as quickly as possible – this could change with time.
It can be difficult to know exactly what you’re looking for until you’ve processed your feelings. In other words, your priorities could change over time, and that’s perfectly normal.
You’re in Charge
The main point to make here is that you are the architect of your own future. If you are interested in pursuing a new relationship, there is nothing stopping you – and dating apps and websites designed specifically for those who are divorced, who are older, or who are simply interested in meeting new people make it easier than ever before.
Think of your divorce as a reset, which allows you to make the decisions that are right for you. If your goal is being part of a couple, you can make that happen. And if you’re not sure what you want, there’s no rush.
Divorce does not sentence you to a life of loneliness, and getting out from under a romantic relationship that wasn’t working anyway could put a pep in your step that you forgot you had, which means you might be surprised by the direction your life takes.
The Deepening of Other Relationships
Some people who’ve been through a divorce find that their relationships with friends and family members deepen as a result. A marriage is a primary relationship, and if yours consumed the majority of your time, it may have put up walls between you and those closest to you that you didn’t even recognize at the time.
While Divorce is a serious transition in your life that should be taken seriously, the consequences aren’t all negative, and if you remain open to the possibilities, you may be surprised by what’s waiting for you out there.
The Timing of Your Divorce Can Make a Difference
If you need a divorce now, filing now and going full steam ahead is the right course of action. If, however, you and your divorcing spouse are on the same page about divorce, aren’t in a rush, and want to make sound decisions along the way, waiting until the new year could serve you well.
The fact is that, once your divorce is finalized, your opportunity to reap the financial rewards of filing your federal taxes jointly is lost. Other considerations to keep in mind in relation to when you file for divorce include all the following:
Waiting until summer break can allow you to focus on challenging family dynamics without the added pressure of navigating the school year.
If your primary marital asset is your family home and it will need to be sold, waiting until the market favors you can make a considerable difference in your overall marital assets.
If your divorce is going to be heating up during the holidays, it may be worth waiting to file. You do not want your children to associate holiday togetherness with difficult times, and the added expense as well as the emotions associated with the holidays may be enough to warrant a later filing if it is a reasonable option.
Your dedicated Round Rock divorce attorney will help you better understand your options in this context.
You and Your Ex Won’t Necessarily Remain Mortal Enemies Post-Divorce
While it may not seem like it now, you and your ex could very well get to the point that you are not antagonistic toward one another, and it's possible that a friendship could grow.
Something brought you together in the first place, and once you have moved beyond the stress that running a home together can generate and have put your divorce behind you, you may find common ground, which can help make those inevitable family gatherings that you will both find yourself at in the future less challenging.
The better relationship you have with your ex, the easier it will be on your children, which makes it a worthy goal and something that your children are certain to appreciate.
All of this said, however, you are not required to forgive your ex, to let them back into your life, or to befriend them. You will need to do what is right for you in your unique situation, and if that means being friendly with them, that’s great, and if it doesn’t, that’s your prerogative.
Ultimately, it’s important to carefully factor in your own emotional well-being and to make the right decisions for you as you move forward.
Look No Further than an Experienced Round Rock Divorce Attorney for the Help You Need
Brett Pritchard at The Law Office of Brett H. Pritchard is a well-respected Round Rock divorce attorney who appreciates how challenging the divorce process can be and is committed to guiding you seamlessly forward toward an effective and efficient resolution that translates to favorable divorce terms.
Your parental and financial rights are worth protecting, so please don’t delay contacting or calling us at 254-781-4222 to schedule a free consultation and learn more about what we can do to help you today.